|
Q. My wife and I disagree on where to sit in church with our 3-year-old and 18- month-old. I want to sit in back where they will be less distracting to other worshippers. She wants to sit up front where they can see everything happening during the Mass. What would you advise?
Taking small children to church is a fine art rather than an exact science. What works one week might not work the next.
Introducing your children to Sunday worship is a gradual experience that will have many highs and lows. Flexibility is the key! If you are scrambling to get to church after a restless night with a 3-year-old who had a bad dream and needed to crawl in with Mom and Dad for reassurance, the back of church or the “crying room” might be the best option.
On a Sunday when everyone seems to be well rested and even-tempered, the front pew looks good. You might not last there the entire Mass. Sometimes pre-schoolers with pent up energy need a walk through the vestibule at homily time and then they are able to come back and settle in with their “church books” for the rest of the liturgy. There is no hard and fast rule.
Certainly you are aware and respectful of others’ need to worship without distraction. Most members of your faith community are happy to see your children in church and are tolerant of your need to step out at times when your toddler gets too fussy. They would much rather experience your loving, small steps toward introducing your children to worship than witnessing your angry tension as you try to hold a small child to unrealistic standards of perfect behavior.
You and your wife can agree to be flexible on this question and then check in with each other before getting out of the car to go into church. Is this a front or back pew type of morning? What is most important here is your intention to keep holy the Lord’s day as a family. You can do that to the best of your ability, given your family situation on any particular Sunday morning. God loves your family in all its imperfection, and delights in your sincere efforts.
Q. I grew up saying “bedtime” prayers. I would like to start this practice with my own children, but bedtime is so chaotic at our house, and I am exhausted at the end of the day. Any suggestions for a simple, quick bedtime prayer?
The purpose of bedtime prayer is to release the day and all its joys and challenges back to God who will be up all night watching over your family. If all the children go to bed at the same time, a nice bedtime ritual is to meet in the living room once everyone is washed and in their pajamas. Light a candle at your “prayer center,” (a low table with cloth, candle, and Bible), sit in silence a moment, then share a verse of scripture (“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his mercy endures forever.” Psalm 113), or say a simple evening prayer: “Lord, God, we give you this day with all its blessings and challenges. Watch over our family tonight. Keep us safe and well, so we may wake tomorrow, refreshed and ready to love and serve You. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen. If the children have different bedtimes because of their ages, stop at each child’s bed for a few moments to reflect: What is one thing from your day for which you are grateful? What is one thing for which you are sorry? What blessing do you ask from God as you release this day into God’s hands? Make the sign of the cross on your child’s forehead and seal it with a kiss. Amen.
(Christ is a consultant in ministry in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. The married mother of four young adult children, she gives talks and workshops, leads retreats, and is a spiritual director. Christ self-publishes materials for parishes, and is the author of "Journeying with Mark," "Journeying with Luke," and "Journeying with Matthew." Published by Paulist Press, the books are intended to be used by families in the car on the way to Mass. Questions for Christ may be sent to her at Catholic Herald Parenting, PO Box 070913, Milwaukee, 53207-0913 or by e-mail: <chnonline@archmil.org>)
|
