After I finished my last column on how I’d be a more spiritual person if I didn’t need to clean the kitchen (Catholic Herald, March 16), I sent an e-mail to parents of young children, asking how they kept spirituality and prayer alive in their families. Their responses were thoughtful and life giving; I loved opening my in-box each day. Interestingly, almost everyone ended his or her e-mail with, “But we could be doing more. I can’t wait to read the other ideas.” Parents intuitively recognize that we are each other’s best resources. We just don’t always have time to seek each other out. Here are the ideas:
The Rosary
“I began praying the rosary every day a year ago — on the way to work, waiting to pick up kids. I decided to do a decade each day after dinner with my kids. While we are not always faithful to it, it helps kids learn that praying isn’t just for before meals and bed. Each child gets to say what they are praying the decade for that day. It reminds me of their needs and it reminds them that I, too, am a person with concerns.”
— Amy, mother of three
“Once a week, our family goes to church with other families to say the rosary. To my surprise, I found my boys — ages 8 and 6 — love it. They love to sit with buddies from their class and pray. Isn’t that what community is all about, really? I find the rosary conveys a sense of peace, through discipline.”
— Stacy, mother of two
Gifts of the Holy Spirit
“My dad was a big believer and follower of the Holy Spirit. He constantly ingrained in my siblings and me the power of the Holy Spirit. Because of him, I TRY to pass on to my kids the importance of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit — or in kids’ language — ‘things God gives you to get you through.’ Some are more applicable at different ages and at different times. For example, we pray for the gift of knowledge before a test. The gifts are: wisdom, understanding, counsel (knowing what to say at the right time), strength (hanging in there), knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord (awe of God). When I drop my kids off at school, I often say to them, ‘Let the Holy Spirit nudge you today.’ I want them to know that sometimes they will need to leave their comfort zone to do what is right.”
— Maria, mother of two
Starting the day
“I pray the Morning Offering of the Apostleship of Prayer each morning. I do this before I have any coffee to remind me what is most needed in my day. I do it to remind myself that each moment of the day is an opportunity of grace and can be offered in prayer, even if (and especially because) you are cleaning the kitchen! And also to pray for the pope’s intentions because it unites me with the church universal and gets me out of my own little web. This month, the intentions are praying for an end to human trafficking and praying for the lay faithful in missions. It reminds me how much there is beyond ourselves!”
— Colleen, mother of four
Prayer and Housework
“We remind the kids that doing housework is serving God through the family community, and ask them if they are doing God’s will once in a while.”
— Anne, mother of four
“I believe we can be communicating with God all day no matter what we are doing. As I wash the dishes, thank him for the dishes, thank him for the food we ate, thank him for those who were at the table, thank him that I have the strength to clean up my kitchen.”
— Judy, mother of four, foster mother
“During the winter, especially, I place a small votive candle on the windowsill above my sink. It is my prayer candle that I light when I am doing dishes in the evening and cleaning up the kitchen. I can pray while I do the dishes. It puts me in a different frame of mind and helps me focus on the mission of motherhood. The kitchen is then not such a place of chores.”
— Martha, mother of three
Candles
“My mom used to have us light votive candles at church especially to pray for a certain intention, usually if someone was ill. She always said, as long as the candle is lit, everyone who comes to pray will also pray for the intentions of all the lit candles. To this day, my sisters and I still light candles for special prayers.”
— Andrea, mother of two
“We have had good results with lighting a candle during evening prayers. When littlest ones are present, we light and re-light it as many times as keeps their attention, and practice saying little prayers with them.”
— Kristen, mother of eight
“I light a candle that sits on the kitchen counter, so I can pray while cleaning. Many times, I light it specifically for someone I know who is sick or struggling. Sometimes the kids and I decide together who will be prayed for. The kids can also pray for that person each time they walk by the candle.”
— Carol, mother of four
Dinner
“Our dinner prayer is always sung. We have a variety of songs, some more serious than others. I was getting ready to go out a couple weeks ago, and as I stepped out of the shower, I heard singing. Josh was feeding the younger boys and sure enough, they were singing their dinner prayer. I guess I probably presumed they just skipped it when Bart and I aren’t with them. I underestimated them.”
— Terri, mother of four
“We try to have thankful prayers as often as possible. I find that if I’m a thankful person, I am so much happier than if I am constantly asking for things (prayer included). I’ve tried to teach my children to truly be thankful for our day and each part of it. We usually either do it during mealtime, or at bedtime. I find it so inspiring to hear what it is my children are thankful for (it’s rarely ‘things’).”
— Barbara, mother of three
“During Advent we keep an Advent wreath on the dining room table and every Sunday we eat at that table (different from the norm) and we will light a candle on the wreath and say a prayer. The kids look forward to it - usually the table is just a dumping ground for “stuff” - it is also where they generally do their homework!”
— Julie, mother of three
Prayer as a constant
“Whenever Abby expresses concern over something we suggest we pray about it. Now that she is 4, quite often she brings it up and asks us to join in.”
— Phil, father of two
“We say a prayer out loud for the stranger we see smoking, or for the person not wearing a helmet, or when we see an ambulance.”
— Carrie, mother of four
“My daily life is a constant conversation with God, and, depending on the different facets of my day, I may move into conversation with Mary (even though she only had one boy ... hee, hee.) I may also pray to a particular saint (Monica is my current favorite) and often Jesus, for guidance and patience. I feel as though I live in prayer all day, and although I may stray from it, I know that is only human. As I do about my husband, and my children, I feel better about my relationship with God, if I communicate frequently. I never feel alone, I always know someone is listening to me, and it is a constant source of comfort for me. Strange, but true!”
— Patty, mother of five
Sacred Space
“We have been thrilled to see Colin make his own ‘sacred space’ made of gifts from his first holy Communion. He was given a religious statue for children and some prayer books for children which he keeps by his bed. He also hung his first Communion banner on the wall where he sees it while in bed.”
— Brigid, mother of four
Before Bed
“We have a prayer bear that we use at night to pray before bed.”
— Nancy, mother of two
“We pray as a family every night — formal prayers, our prayer list, and anything spontaneous — particularly for anything anyone is struggling with. It makes us reconcile if necessary, as it is impossible to pray while mad. If someone can not pray (a rare occasion), we pray for them. For some this is at bedtime — others just a break in the evening. We are all drawn closer to each other as we draw closer to God.”
— Anne, mother of four
“Praying before bed is a fantastic opportunity as a parent to ask for forgiveness in front of our kids or model how to pray about a difficult situation.”
— Carrie, mother of four
Praying and Exercise
“I have come to the place in my own prayer life to understand that praying is talking to God. And because my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, He is with me always. Thus I can talk, pray, all the time wherever I am, whatever I am doing. When I run on the treadmill I often listen to teaching tapes and as different things touch my heart, I pray about them right then and there as I continue to run.”
— Judy, mother of four, foster mother
“I put on slow Gospel music while I lift weights and fast Gospel music while I run. If you pray while you exercise, it’s good for you in two ways.”
— Marina, mother of two
Child of the Week
“A project we are trying to do as a family is “Child of the Week.” There are four parts to the week: Plan, prepare, and clean up a meal; plan a one-on-one activity with Mom or Dad; plan a family activity; return a kindness or reach out to someone. The last one is by far the most challenging because it forces the child to notice someone who might be struggling. The older ones are trying to find ways of being kind that doesn’t mean giving them candy or a card. It’s a good lesson on the power of words and actions. I highly recommend the whole idea though it is A LOT OF WORK for the adult.”
— Carrie, mother of four
(Scobey-Polacheck and her husband Bill have two sons, Jacob and Liam, and a daughter, Jamie. They belong to SS. Peter and Paul and St. Monica parishes. Scobey-Polacheck welcomes dialog regarding her column. E-mail her at <ascobey@hotmail.com>.)
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