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Nov.
2004
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Depression
is invisible,
but real disease affecting children |
|
James
Pankratz
Special to Parenting |
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It’s invisible. It’s real. And it’s
affecting our children.
It’s depression.
How easy it is to deny the existence of something we
can’t see ... like germs, UV rays, and depression.
If we can convince ourselves these things don’t
exist, then we needn’t bother washing our hands,
applying sunscreen, or spending time with our kids.
How do we know if a child is depressed? Typical symptoms
of depression include feelings of sadness, low energy,
self-critical thinking, eating too much or too little,
and sleeping too much or too little. Changes from a typical
pattern can signal depression. Look for extremes in behavior — too
much or too little — and for persistence over time.
Adolescents can be good at hiding depression. They may
put on a brave front to try to look like what they feel
their parents or peers want them to be. The parent needs
to be the decoder and interpret the condition underlying
the teenager’s mood, attitude and actions. If there
is frequent irritability, episodes of crying, falling
grades, talk of death or suicide, loss of interest in
usual after-school activities, and social isolation,
pay attention. A teenager may act out or get into trouble
at school or with the law to wave a big red flag under
your nose. All of the above are warning signs.
A statement, a written note, or a school paper suggesting
an interest in suicide should always be taken seriously.
The parent should intervene immediately by talking to
the child about what’s been observed, and following
through with an appointment with the pediatrician and/or
counselor.
Depression comes in many varieties. Some depression is
situational and can lift amazingly fast after some practical
adjustments in the child’s schedule or living situation.
Sometimes moving up the child’s bedtime to allow
for more sleep can help. Depression can have a chemical,
hereditary basis. The use of certain anti-depressants,
called SSRI’s, has become controversial lately
due to some studies which suggest that in certain cases
the medication may increase the severity of the depression.
Discuss the pros and cons of medication for your child
thoroughly with the pediatrician or psychiatrist.
When listing the causes of childhood depression, it is
necessary to look at the larger social system.
Children who live in neighborhoods of poverty, squalor,
and violence are depressed. Hope in the future is shattered
when a burst of random gunfire strikes down a child’s
8-year-old sister, guilty only of walking into the living
room to pick up her doll. Our national lack of will to
resolve the problem of poverty in this country is condemning
millions of children to lives of malnutrition, disease,
and crime. When a teenager feels hopeless, acts of sudden
criminal violence break the deadening cycle of desperation
with an illusory jolt of being alive.
A study at New York City’s Columbia University involving nearly 600 parents
and their children reached a conclusion that should be obvious: bad parenting — verbal
abuse, parents arguing in front of children, lack of supervision, and inconsistent
rules — increases the risk of childhood depression and anxiety. Prolonged
exposure to a parent’s rage, even if not directed at them, leaves children
feeling like civilians trapped in a war zone, while the two people they need
to love them are distracted and consumed by a competition to prop up their petty
egos.
Almost any kind of childhood depression can at least be lessened by two steps
taken by mom and dad.
1. Rid your house of blame and toxic anger.
No child will thrive if she is constantly subjected to hostile lectures about
what she or other family members are doing wrong. It’s a small step for
that child to come to feel that she is wrong. That feeling is depression.
2. Be available.
Sometimes children are more than ready to tell us what is bugging them. They
are just waiting for mom or dad to eliminate all distractions, sit down with
them one-to-one, and ask. If they know we are taking the time to care, chances
are they will let us know. And talking about what is bothering them to a caring,
non-judgmental listener can often work more wonders than a refill of Prozac.
(Pankratz is a marriage and family therapist at Catholic Charities Milwaukee
regional office.) |
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