Baseball
fans of a certain age well remember the antics of much-hired
and -fired New York Yankees manager Billy
Martin. Martin was notorious for kicking dirt on umpires
and otherwise having extreme anger outbursts over what
he perceived as lousy calls.
It’s safe to say Billy Martin wasn’t exactly
a role model for good sportsmanship. But if local athletic
programs are any indication, he didn’t learn his
bad behavior as a Little Leaguer. Coaches these days
are all about treating opposing teams with respect.
“...(C)oaching ... carries with it an awesome responsibility
to exhibit and teach sportsmanship to your players and
their parents,” youth soccer coach Jerry Gasser
said. Gasser has coached recreational soccer through
competitive State League First Division teams. His four
daughters have all played soccer; the oldest is on a
soccer scholarship at the University of Houston.
“In order to (teach sportsmanship) you must first
teach and also demand that your players and parents respect
their opponents. No matter how well or how poorly your
opponent may play the game, they deserve respect. ...
ridicule and trash-talking should not be tolerated by
a responsible coach.”
Gasser believes de-emphasizing the “win at all
costs” attitude permeating youth sports would lower
parents’ blood pressure readings and make games
more fun for the kids.
“What needs to be emphasized is learning the game
and being able to play it,” Gasser said. “I
like to remind parents that teaching kids to play soccer
is
not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Success should not
be measured by wins and losses at age 8 or 9, but by
the skills and talent a player can bring to a game by
the time they reach high school.”
Gasser’s coaching philosophy is summed up in a
quote he read from John Burke, girls soccer coach at
Catholic Memorial High School in Waukesha. “(Burke)
said that he tries to teach his players to ‘win
with humility, and lose with dignity.’ The importance
of that has always remained with me, and every year I
repeat it to the teams I coach and to their parents.
It epitomizes sportsmanship and respect for your opponents.”
There’s more
to sports than winning big
Megan Schlecht, 14, one of Gasser’s former players,
has played “select” soccer — for those
players at a higher skill level than regular recreational
players — for the past five years. She said “with
higher skill level comes higher intensity, both on and
off the field. The most important aspect of any sport,
whether rec or select, is sportsmanship and your attitude
both toward the game and toward the players. Attitude
is a reflection of leadership.”
Schlecht recalled a game late last year in which her
coach, Tim Winn, insisted to the team that they practice
good sportsmanship.
“The score at halftime was 8-0,” Schlecht
said. “During
our halftime chat, the coach said that we were playing
an exceptionally good game, but we needed to ease up
on the scoring. We were not allowed to score for the
remainder of the game. This game was one I have not,
and will not forget. I learned a valuable lesson: When
you win, you win. The margin makes no difference. What
is the point of beating a team 20-0, when everyone knows
that is your capability? Why hurt the other team’s
feelings? There is a lot more to soccer, or any sport
for that matter, than winning and winning big.
“Sometimes the best feeling is walking off the
field after shaking hands with the opposing team, and
knowing whether
you won or lost, you felt good about the game and the
attitudes both teams had,” Schlecht said.
John Sweeney has coached on every level from youth to
college over the last 25 years, primarily in soccer and
basketball. Sweeney said his coaching philosophy meshed
with Gasser’s and Winn’s: “Let the
players play. Let the coaches coach. And let the referees
officiate. This is the message I give to parents. Sometimes
they get too caught up in one thing or the other and
need to be refocused.”
Sweeney said over his career, “Yes, I have come
across upset parents. I always try to stay calm in those
situations and that will usually have a calming effect
on the parent, too. At least it will not escalate. It
is important to be honest with the parents, whether it
be regarding their child’s abilities or playing
time.”
Parents should understand expectations
Sweeney also emphasized the need for guidelines, “so
that players and parents understand your expectations.
I have been fortunate not to have had too many conflicts
with parents over the 20-plus years I have been coaching.
I think this is largely due to laying the groundwork
early in the season, having an open door policy — always
easier to handle the small things before they get out
of hand — and being sensitive to the players in
recognizing frustration and stress and then dealing with
that. A coach should have positive interactions with
the players and parents. I have seen many coaches who
avoid interaction with players and especially parents;
this will eventually cause problems.”
Gasser said his decision to become qualified as a referee
greatly helped his sideline demeanor.
“I am not always the most reserved person on the
sidelines at games,” he said. “I regretfully
have yelled and complained about calls made by referees
during games.
In fact, I still do occasionally, but I try to reserve
my outbursts to situations which are getting out of control
and endangering player safety. I’m getting better
with time. What has helped me is trading places with
that referee on the field.”
After becoming certified to referee youth soccer games,
Gasser said that his experience of officiating four to
six games a season has made him “a much more tolerant
coach. I now have a greater appreciation for the seemingly ‘boneheaded’ calls
a referee makes, because I now realize that it is incredibly
difficult to see everything that is happening on the
field.”
Listening a better strategy than screaming
Gasser said he listens now instead of joining the other
coaches, players and parents screaming at a referee “that
a handling violation occurred, with total disregard for
the two or three players who were obstructing the vision
of the referee. The violation might have occurred, but
the referee must see it.
“There are also many interpretations a referee
must make based on what is happening at the time,” Gasser
said. “How many times are players and parents ...
ridiculing the referee for not making a call? Most players
and spectators fail to ask themselves the critical question
the referee must ask in deciding whether or not to whistle
a violation. That is, ‘was the player who was in
the (disputed play) actively involved in the play, in
such a manner as to give his or her team an unfair advantage?’ It’s
a tough call and fortunately someone is still willing
to make it. My advice to parents is, ‘don’t
say anything unless you’ve been there and done
that.’”
Mixing sportsmanship with academics
Sportsmanship mixes with academics every summer at Marquette
University’s 25-day National Youth Sports Program.
Marquette is one of over 200 institutions nationwide
to host the program, which has run for the past 11 years.
More than 600 students were enrolled in this summer’s
session, which ran from June 22 to July 25, and according
to program director Debbie Swanson, there’s a waiting
list of more than 150 kids.
Students
get to choose from a variety of team sports such as volleyball,
basketball, football, and track and field, as well as
individual sports. But although sports is part of the
name, that’s not entirely what the program’s
about, according to Swanson.
“We’re trying to have a well-rounded program
here,” Swanson
said. The program is funded by a federal grant. Participants,
between the ages of 10 and 16, work on their mental skills
as well as their physical ones. They’re being given
classes in math, science, drug and alcohol abuse prevention,
health and fitness, career planning and opportunities,
and higher education opportunities. New in this year’s
program was a “senior program” in which the
older children concentrated on college prep work and
standardized test-taking practice.
“The amount of time each child has in academics,
the amount in activities, there are all guidelines that
have to
be followed,” Swanson said. Marquette also is required
to provide United States Department of Agriculture-certified
meals, usually a snack in the morning and a hot lunch,
and to provide transportation for those who need it.
Each child must have a physical, paid for by the program.
Program participants learn that being a good sport can
even be useful in community activities. Swanson said
that this year, students participated in a neighborhood
cleanup and a breast cancer awareness walk.
Nobody rides the bench at St. Kilian
St. Kilian School in Hartford has a unique approach to
getting kids healthily involved in athletics, too: Everybody
makes the team, and everybody plays. As most parents
of children involved in athletics know, making the team
doesn’t guarantee that your child won’t ride
the bench.
At St. Kilian, each student has the opportunity to join
the sport of their choice, without limits to team numbers,
and each player gets to participate.
“We feel it is essential to encourage our students
who are interested in joining extra-curricular activities,” school
athletic director Greg Klink said. “That’s
why we haven’t held tryouts for any of our teams,
like many other schools, and we also provide each player
an opportunity to play in each competition.”
The results of this unusual philosophy have been “very
positive,” said Klink. “An overwhelming percentage
of St. Kilian’s fifth through eighth grade students
participate in at least one extra-curricular activity,
and they are enthusiastic about their event.”
“To ensure all our students get to play during
competitions, we try to keep the teams fairly small,” Klink
said. What would normally be one team of 14 at other
schools
gets split into two teams of seven at St. Kilian. The
school offers girls volleyball and basketball, boys basketball,
and two cheerleading squads.
Ten Commandments for sports parents
Parents interested in teaching their children good sportsmanship
have their own set of guidelines. Robert P. Lockwood,
former president of Our Sunday Visitor, a Catholic newspaper
based in Huntington, Ind., published a pamphlet called “Ten
Commandments for Sports Parents.” The guidelines
below, adapted from the pamphlet, echo what Gasser and
Sweeney said:
• Don’t act like a jerk in front of your kids. If you wouldn’t do it in front of your kid anywhere
else, don’t do it at a game.
• Sports are fun for us and our children
in an inverse proportion to the importance we put on
it. More serious
attitudes equal less fun.
• Our children will not play professional
sports. Don’t
count on college athletic scholarships, either. Virtually
none of elementary school-aged players will ultimately
end up having that kind of ability.
• Know who is really out there. Parents aren’t
playing the game and kids are their own people, separate
from parents. A child’s performance is not a reflection
on the parents.
• Other people’s kids are still kids. The other
team is not “the enemy,” it’s just
a bunch of other kids. Treat them kindly.
• Leave the coaches alone. Most of the time, coaches
are volunteering their time and skills. If you need to
yell, yell at the professionals through your television
screen.
• Take the pulse regularly. Having fun? Especially at
the elementary school ages, kids playing sports should
be having fun. If they’re not having fun, don’t
force them to keep playing.
• If you don’t have something positive to say,
don’t say it. Kids don’t need to hear about
all their mistakes or the things they could have done
differently. Encourage them instead.
• You are supposed to have fun, too. The enjoyment parents
get from watching their children participate in sports
shouldn’t have anything to do with the win-loss
record.
• Every kid is his or her own kid. They’re
not required to like the things you did as a kid, or
to fulfill
your dreams of glory.
“We all need to applaud the great play regardless
of which team executed it,” coach Jerry Gasser
said. “We
need to step up and stop harassing comments directed
at players and referees. We need to just let the kids
play the game. I have never seen a game lost by a single
player’s mistake or a referee’s ‘bad’ call.
Congratulate the winners, and give your support and encouragement
to the team that lost. Come back the next day or the
next week and play again.”
Billy Martin never learned that one, either. But your
athletic kids need to. |
