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| FRIENDS
FOREVER — Diane Lustig, left, is
a regular visitor to the McKelvie home. Her respite
care visits give dad, Kerry, a needed break from
caring for 9-year-old Timmy. But according to Lustig,
she almost feels guilty about the visits, “like
I get more out of it than the McKelvies do.”
(Catholic Herald Parenting photo by James Pearson) |
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Diane Lustig, 44, is like “part of the family,”
Kerry McKelvie, 47, said.
As a volunteer with the Children’s Service Society
of Wisconsin, Lustig provides respite care for McKelvie’s
family.
Respite care is the temporary care of children, ranging
from infants to 18-year-olds, with special needs —
developmental delays, emotional problems or physical disabilities
— so that parents and other caregivers can have
a needed break, according to the organization, a not-for-profit
statewide agency. The service is provided free, through
volunteers.
McKelvie’s son, Timmy is blind and has Pervasive
Developmental Disorder, PDD. Individuals with PDD often
have impairments in social interaction, imaginative activity,
verbal and nonverbal communication skills, and a limited
number of interests and activities that tend to be repetitive.
“He’s a happy little boy,” McKelvie,
a single father, said. “Just slower. He’s
not talking and he’s 9 years old.”
|
For information about becoming a Respite Care volunteer through
the Children’s Service Society of
Wisconsin’s Respite Care Program, call (414)
453-1400. |
Lustig, a West Allis native and parishioner at St. James
in Menomonee Falls, is a systems coordinator for Northwestern
Mutual Life.
“I’ve been married for 17 years,” she
said. “I have two children from a previous marriage.
My stepson had two children that are living with us now.
I live a full, busy life.”
But unable to have her own children, Children’s
Service Society provided an outlet, a way “to have
some child that needs me.”
There have been difficulties for Lustig.
“Dealing with Timmy, he’s multihandicapped,
he can’t talk,” she said, “so there’s
a communication problem. But it’s minimized because
Timmy loves the attention.
“The only real problem is the usual thing: trying
to find time in busy lives,” she said. “It’s
why people don’t exercise, why they don’t
go to the dentist.
Lustig called the visits rewarding and an easy way to
give back to the community. “There really is no
downside to it. I almost feel guilty, like I get more
out of it than the McKelvies do.” And, she said,
“it’s simple.”
“Doesn’t take much time at all, couple hours
a week, every other week,” she said. “It doesn’t
feel like much. But to the family, it’s so much.
“No matter how hard my life might be at times, I
spend a few minutes with Timmy and all my problems go
away,” she said. “It puts things in perspective.”
Lustig became involved with CSS about six years ago after
receiving a brochure about the program in the mail.
“I truly believe that … it’s hard to
put into words … but I don’t think I’d
be doing what I am — finding the time for this —
if I didn’t have my faith,” she said. “It
was just meant to be… the information from CSS came
at the right time for me … it was the right thing
to do.”
After the information arrived in a flyer in the mail,
she called the center, visited, interviewed, filled out
a survey and was told the types of children who were waiting
to be matched up.
“I wanted one I could take to the zoo and take and
do activities with,” she said.
But CSS didn’t line Lustig up with the person she
wanted. It did one better, matching her up with “the
right person,” she said. “I think there’s
some divine intervention in that.”
“‘We don’t have an exact match,’
they said. But would I come over and meet Timmy,”
she said. “We fit so well. Timmy smiled so easily;
laughed so easily. He was easy to take care of and fun
to be around. I didn’t need to take him out. One
on one, playing ball, simple things were all he needed.
And all I needed.
“Timmy and the family were so grateful to get any
support,” she said. “It’s hard to keep
asking family members to help out. It’s hard to
take normal children any place, and even harder to take
handicap children to, say, a grocery store.”
Respite care gives them “time to spend together
and not think about Timmy,” she said. “It
gives them time alone without thinking about imposing
on the family. Time away is real important to them.”
According to McKelvie, Lustig comes over once a week for
three hours. She “gives us a break. She has been
great. She really loves Timmy. She watches him and allows
us to get out. It’s hard to get someone to watch
him.”
Growing up, Lustig said she volunteered at a summer camp
for special education kids. She was involved with Big
Brothers & Big Sisters for a while, but “wasn’t
real crazy about it.” She also volunteered while
at Northwestern Mutual Life.
“I always wanted to be a special ed teacher,”
she said. “It wasn’t the direction my life
went, but it was always in the back of my mind.”
Even though she had a lot of volunteer experience, she
never had any special training. Still, “CSS is careful
not to match up with kids you can’t handle,”
she said.
They would never ask you to do something you’re
not capable of doing, and through them you can give so
much back, she added.
“Listening to other volunteers, they said the same
thing,” she said. “They match you up so well.
They have some nurses who volunteer and take care of the
kids with feeding tubes and stuff like that. CSS does
a great job.”
To better prepare volunteers, Lustig said, CSS holds discussions
on how to communicate better with the respite family.
It does some informal trainings, and monitors early interaction.
It always does monthly follow-ups.
Some volunteers have two families, Lustig said. “But
one was about all I could handle. I give two-to-three
hours a week. If I was only able to go every other week,
that’d be fine. Families are so grateful for anything.”
“It’s great for the children and family, and
for the volunteers,” McKelvie said. “It’s
a two way thing.
“I just hope others would get involved,” he
said. “Diane has been a great blessing.” |
