Keeping Faith

My 10th birthday is a memory I'll never forget. At the end of the gift giving, my parents presented me with a large, bulky package. It obviously was too heavy to be a doll, too odd-shaped to be a book, a game, or things I would have expected as gifts. I unwrapped a statue of Mary.

It wasn't a little statue that you usually find in homes, but a big one like I had in my Catholic grade school classroom. I was truly awestruck that this was the gift my parents had chosen ... and was delighted. I felt like I had been given some really important "holy thing" and was completely amazed my parents would have figured out how to find such a unique gift. I still smile at the memory of the mystery of my family's resourcefulness.

From my perspective, there couldn't have been a gift that could have touched me at a deeper place. My little girl heart was lifted and inspired that sunny May day years ago.

My reaction, as I look back, seems a microcosm of the theology of Mary in the Catholic tradition, for Mary brings the almighty, unimaginable God close to us, as intimately close as a mother's heartbeat. The Catholic tradition of the veneration of Mary holds the tensions of the paradox of the deepest mystery of faith with the familiarity and comfort of our own warmest family images.

Mary, in her "handmaid's lowliness" (Luke 1:48) was chosen for God's greatest favor! Mary, the "new Eve" ushers in the "new creation." Mary is called the mother of the living, yet is the one who defines humility, birthing her son in a barn and weeping at the foot of the cross over her son's humiliating death. No human has been more idolized for purity, unselfishness or love and yet no holy person's spirit seems more accessible in our most desperate or personal time of need.

Mary is part of football culture

No human has inspired a deeper or more pervasive call to prayer. The Hail Mary prayer is known by virtually every Catholic; the rosary is one of the most identifiable Catholic sacramentals. The Marian apparitions have inspired miraculous devotions. Mary is so much a part of our culture that, even a football illiterate like me, knows that a "Hail Mary pass" means you are going for your last chance, your near impossible attempt, to beat all odds. Mary, who put her body and heart in complete trust in the Lord, inspires us to put our trust in the Lord. Mary is not the subject of our devotion but of our affection.

How have we Catholics come to this special relationship to Mary? Mary is a most treasured figure in our tradition. Mary, the Mother of Jesus, has been an inspiration to humanity for more than 2000 years. As the mother of the Messiah, her place in history was created by her close relationship with Jesus. Mary drew special attention from the earliest believers because of her relationship with Jesus and her role in God's plan of salvation.

But Mary's special status in Catholic tradition is best understood in light of the Catholic doctrine of the "communion of saints." If we broadly understand this doctrine, we more specifically can understand our relationship with Mary.

The phrase sounds familiar because we declare our belief each week at Mass in the Apostles' Creed, "I believe in ... the communion of saints...."

The doctrine describes the spiritual bond that exists between those of us faithful here on earth and those who now share eternity with God. This teaching assures us we are united with Christ in prayer and grace (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 946-948). In other words, we are one community of believers, the living and the dead. It is an aspect of the blessing of salvation that we enjoy fellowship together, both living and dead, as God's holy people, or the mystical body of Christ. This doctrine affirmed by the Second Vatican Council (Dogmatic Constitution on the Church) reminds us that all in this "communion" belong to Christ, share his spirit and are one church. Those in heaven, because of their closeness to God, more deeply bind us to God and intercede to God for those of us on earth. This link of Christians, both living and dead, has cultivated our practice of prayer on behalf of those not living and requesting intercession to God for the needs of the living.

Mary, most venerated saint

Many saints are venerated by our church and Mary is the most venerated. We have sought and seek her aid. Mary, herself, is a sign of how powerfully God's grace can transform and bring forth life in us and how durable and lasting God's love can be in us. "By her complete adherence to the Father's will, to his Son's redemptive work, and to every prompting of the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary is the church's model of faith and charity.

Thus, she is a 'preeminent and ... wholly unique member of the church'; indeed, she is the 'exemplary realization' of the church" (cc.967).

Devotion to Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is a widely held aspect of Catholic devotional prayer. The rosary, private and communal devotions based on the apparitions or appearances of Mary, the Hail Mary and Memorare prayers, the Magnificat, the prayer of Mary, as well as spontaneous expressions requesting Mary's comfort and guidance are all forms of Marian devotions.

Catholics don't worship Mary

But devotion is not adoration. Catholics worship only God. One of the high school students in our parish asked me recently if we worship Mary. She said one of her friends who belongs to a non-denominational Christian church in our area told her that Catholics worship Mary. I told to her that is not true.

It was true, I explained to her, that Mary is one of the most treasured saints and an exemplary model and guide to us. I reminded her of how we pray to many saints, but more in the sense of praying with and for us, in order to invoke the only one who has power, God.

The saints, Mary included, are like us, which is probably why they are so endearing to us. They struggle, they walk in faith as we do, not possessing God's complete vision. Because they are a step ahead of us, seeing God's ways more clearly than we do they light the way a little for us and help us to move forward in faith.

As a mother, I relate to the Mary who had to ponder the child she didn't understand and for whom she probably agonized, as her son was betrayed by his friends. Yet, she held on and moved in trust. In this way Mary is distinguished in our tradition as the first disciple, the first to follow Christ and the premier model of faith, a strong and sure guide for us. Because of her unique status as fully human but holding an unprecedented closeness to God, maybe some of us draw comfort and strength in our belief Mary will speak up for us and maybe care for us with the same love she gave her child.

The relationship Catholics have with Mary in no way diminishes the unconditional love God has for us. There is no competition. Jesus Christ is the source of salvation. God is the source of love. In honoring Mary we honor the God who created her.

Beware of Mariolatry

When devotion to Mary becomes unbalanced, veneration of Mary can slip into virtual worship of Mary. This is called Mariolatry. This is not appropriate and not what the church teaches. Mary has a unique role as the mother of God and as a part of the plan of salvation. We honor her and ask for her prayers but we do not pray to Mary expecting her to have God's power.

I experienced the solace and strength of the gift of Mary in my own Catholic community last year as one of our beloved friends, Lisa, valiantly battled serious illness. We who loved her, while feeling helpless, continued to pray with her and for her. Unable to change her diagnosis or the course of her illness we surrounded her with prayers to Mary. We brought her into our little chapel and prayed the rosary around her. I will always remember how still and deeply peaceful she was as if absorbing each Hail May we spoke.

As she became too sick to be with us regularly, we began to end each gathering of our moms' group by holding hands in a circle and praying the Hail Mary together for Lisa. We continued that throughout the year. I don't know what was in everyone's heart and mind each week we prayed but I always thought of us as "mother friends" who were unable to fix or heal or really help the way we wish we could but still believed we could ask our Mother Mary, to be with Lisa.

Mary provided a connection

The gift of faith is to have somewhere to go with the impossible "for nothing will be impossible for God." (Luke 1:37) And so, while there was no physical cure in our little community, there was at least a connection with our friend of a shared mutual trust that we were united in heart and spirit and in some way that was healing. Although for a long time we prayed for a cure, we settled for a connection in which many of us were changed and which we believe is eternal. At the cemetery, we held hands in one more circle of prayer to Mary this time knowing Lisa was in the part of the circle nearer to Christ but no less a part of us. Mary, the mother of God, the mother of the Church, the mother of us all, held us close to the heart of her son.

Perhaps this is why Mary is venerated and loved, because in the life of the church, Mary is a friend to us and sometimes it is important to have a strong, wise tender friend.

Meghan McKenna, in her book, "Mary, Shadow of Grace" tells us about a statue in Europe from the middle ages. She says the statute "... shows Mary with her cloak opened wide. Inside, all crowded together, are people stacked on top of each other: nobles, kings, queens and knights. But the ones closest to her heart and hands are the peasants, orphans, children and the poor."

We remember Mary telling the wine server at Cana, "Do whatever he tells you," (John 2:5) and we want to be close to her. We remember her unselfishness and we want to be like her. We remember she said "yes" to God's unknown plan and ushered in our salvation and we are grateful for this faithful companion.

(Amidei is director of religious education and youth minister at St. Anthony Parish, Pewaukee.)