Lorenz and Friends

God holds the answers to life's mysteries

Great-Aunt Peggy finally died June 7, 2001. I say "finally" because she was 100 years old, 95 percent blind and nearly as deaf. She lived in a small nursing home in northern Illinois and had been wanting to die for at least 10 years. She even prayed for it every day.

"Why am I still here?" she'd question whenever any of her nieces or nephews visited. Aunt Peggy had lived a simple life. She had no children, only left the state of Illinois a couple times in her life and worked as a farm wife until 1960 when her husband died.

She decided in early 2000 that Nov. 1, 2000, All Saints Day, would be the perfect day for her to die. She thought about it every day, prayed to the Blessed Mother and even shared her idea with a few of my cousins. Well, she missed her mark by seven months and I, for one, am glad she hung on because her 100th birthday was Dec. 1. At least the family got to celebrate with her on that grand occasion -- as grand as it can be in a nursing home dining room.

At any rate, Aunt Peggy's death got me thinking about a lot of things I don't understand. I honestly do not understand what purpose there was to Aunt Peggy's last few years. She was miserable in that nursing home. Oh, it was a nice place, clean, friendly and she was well cared for. But she was bored to death. Couldn't watch television or participate in activities because of her blindness. Couldn't converse with anyone because she was nearly deaf. She spent her last years sitting in the wheelchair by her bed, waiting to be wheeled down to the dining room for meals. She ate like a bird, couldn't hear anyone at the table, lost weight and became very, very depressed. What was the purpose of her life those last 10 years or so? It's hard to understand.

Another thing I can't figure out is the way some people let family squabbles ruin relationships. I have a friend who is from a large family. Angie's mother died recently and during the division of land, house, cars and personal effects among the siblings, Angie got her feelings hurt by something one of her sisters said to her.

"I'll never let her step foot on my property ever again!" Angie said adamantly. Unfortunately she didn't consider the tension and stress brought on by their mother's death or the stress of the months of meetings and haggling over the property. The sister who offended her had always been the peacemaker in the family and her outburst was very much out of character. Both of these women are in their 50s and should understand that stress sometimes causes people to say and do unkind things to those they love the most.

What I don't understand is how someone could stop talking to or refuse to see her own sister. How does one put a monetary value on the love of family? You can't. But she did and I don't get it. It's another one of those mysteries in life that clouds my brain.

Something else I don't understand is world hunger. I thought I had it figured out not long ago when an 80 mile-an-hour wind and thunderstorm ripped through my community.

The next morning my entire yard, driveway, sidewalk, porch, roof, and gutters were covered with maple tree seeds, you know, those little helicopter things. The wind had shaken them off the only maple tree I have in my yard. As I swept and swept and swept some more I couldn't believe the number of seeds that one tree had produced! I filled the big wheelbarrow six times to overflowing with maple seeds to dump into my mulch pile in the backyard.

"Why did God create so many seeds from just one tree?" I wondered.

A friend who was helping me sweep said, "God gives us enough seeds from every living thing to provide for us. So many seeds no one in the world should ever go hungry."

I thought about it. Every single thing we eat at some point comes from a growing, living thing. And that thing is loaded to the max with seeds to make more than enough for everyone on earth. God provides what we need. Seeds from trees to shade us. Seeds from flowers to beautify our world. Seeds from plants to feed us. If we just shared our seeds, our growing expertise or the bounty of our own replanting with Third World countries, how could there be any hunger in the world? God has given us the means. What I don't understand is why we don't put all those seeds to better use? Why are some people still hungry?

Speaking of seeds, one other thing I don't understand is why God made the avocado seed so big. Also, why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Life is full of mysteries I don't understand. Only God knows all the answers. God and Great-Aunt Peggy. From being an uneducated, untraveled, simple woman who didn't know a whole lot about anything she now knows everything about every single thing in the universe, including the mysteries of broken relationships, world hunger and avocado pits.

She knows it all and that makes me very, very happy. At least I understand that.

(Lorenz, an internationally-known author and speaker, lives in Oak Creek. E-mail her at patricialorenz@juno.com.)