Friends of the Family

Epic heroes teach lessons in coping with fear

You have the chance to eliminate all evil from the world. Your mission is to take a tiny gold ring to the fiery inferno of Mount Doom, where it was first forged, and throw it back. All you have to do is resist the ring's corrupting allure and withstand trials and onslaughts mounted by the forces of evil to stop you. Would you have the courage to take on the job?

This is the premise of "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," the blockbuster film which my sons and I saw recently. In this first installment of J.R.R. Tolkien's classic trilogy, Frodo the wide-eyed innocent joins forces with a ragtag band of companions to begin the perilous journey. Frodo is the perfect hero because he's a regular guy (or, in this case, a regular Hobbit), who doesn't seek danger and adventure. The task comes to him and he believes that morally he must follow through.

During the three-hour movie, he trembles, he quakes, but he never gives up.

Our family recently watched another film about courage and a quest, also in a medieval setting. Whereas "Rings" is an attempt to destroy evil, this mini-epic is about the quest for the ultimate good, symbolized by the Holy Grail, the name for the cup used by Jesus at the Last Supper. "The Lord of the Rings" is a drama, while "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is a comedy.

It would be impossible to mistake anyone in "Holy Grail" for the courageous Frodo. The Python's knights of the Round Table are so inept and bumbling, it's no wonder they can't find the Holy Grail. "Brave Sir Robyn" is accompanied by his loyal sidekick and minstrel. As they ride through the dark and dank woods, his minstrel loudly sings a merry ditty about all the horrors and physical atrocities his master is willing to face during his brave quest. As the minstrel gets more and more graphic, Brave Sir Robyn grows more and more uneasy. Finally, the knight turns around and says "That's enough music for now, lads."

True epic stories are about two things. On the surface they're about completing a task: returning the ring, finding the Grail. On a deeper level, they're all about fear, and how the hero learns or does not learn to cope with fear brought about by the opposing forces.

What can we learn about dealing with fear from the heroes of these movie epics?

1. Avoid or take a stand

The first decision each of our heroes must make is whether or not to face the forces of evil. In "Holy Grail," King Arthur underestimates the power of a small, white bunny rabbit guarding a cave. He fails to heed the advice of his wizard, who warns him that this is no ordinary rabbit. When the knights charge, the killer rabbit flies through the air to decimate half of his troop. King Arthur yells his immortal line: "Run away! Run away!"

Contrast this with "Ring" in which the old wizard, the guide and mentor for the fellowship, turns around on a narrow bridge to make what looks like an impossible stand against the huge and hideous beast pursuing them. Amazingly the monster is defeated, though the cost of victory is high.

When one person takes a stand, it is often surprising what can be accomplished.

2. Worry or make a plan

Worry is the same as spinning your wheels. You concentrate on everything that could go wrong and brood about what the other side could do. For example, "If I go out for basketball, I might let the team down and my classmates will hate me."

Worry means thinking about things outside of your control and letting that paralyze you. You end up brooding, but not taking action.

In "Holy Grail," King Arthur and his knights "ride" up to the wall of a mighty fortress. They announce their noble quest. In response, an enemy soldier hurls insults at them from the top of the castle wall. Showing they will not be deterred by another's negative opinion of them, they draw their swords and charge the castle. At this point, the soldiers hurl something else over the wall: mud, rocks, some birds and a dead cow. King Arthur again shouts "Run away!" But once they've taken cover in a ditch, something different happens. A soldier says, "I have a plan, sir."

Focus on some constructive step you can take. "I'll practice an extra hour every day to improve my skill."

3. Judge by efforts, not results

In "Holy Grail" the soldiers' plan does not work. The brave troops make a huge mistake in its execution. As a matter of fact, neither "Holy Grail" nor "Ring" ends with the mission accomplished. But both the blundering knights and Frodo and company never let fear paralyze their efforts.

Frodo says, "I know what I have to do. I'm just afraid to do it." Mark Twain wrote, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of fear." How do you master fear? Make a plan. The result you attain may not be much on the surface. But inside is what counts.

(Pankratz is a marriage and family therapist in Catholic Charities Milwaukee regional office.)