Lorenz and Friends

Don't wait for a holiday; celebrate family,
life everyday

A few days before Valentine's Day 2002 I received an e-mail from a good friend. I was already in my annual pre-Valentine's Day funk that propels single women like me who don't get candy, flowers, Valentines and fancy dinners on Feb. 14 to justify our disdain for the holiday.

Many of us believe it's just an overly-commercial fabrication created by the card companies, flower shops and candy manufacturers.

But then that darn e-mail showed up on my screen. It was from Ray, who still considers himself a newlywed, even though he and his bride tied the knot in August of 1999.

Two months before Ray sent me the e-mail letter, he'd been hospitalized for a bad case of pneumonia that left him weak and at home for the next two months, under the watchful eye of Geri, his beloved bride.

Ray's letter talked about a day-long celebration he and Geri had on the day when he finally felt well again. He wrote:

"Our celebration yesterday began by thanking God for all His help ever since I had the scare exactly two months ago. After antibiotics, taking it easy, and especially all the help and support from my beautiful resident physician (who wouldn't even let me take out the garbage for a couple weeks) I can say I'm nearly as good as ever. A great reason to celebrate."

And celebrate they did. Ray described their day in detail: "It began with breakfast at 1 Potato 2, exciting, huh? Then four walking trips around Southridge Mall. Not much to you, maybe, but very significant for me, since just one round trip wore me out at first.

"After that we just had to stop at a favorite local coffee shop where we met friends, then went to see the movie, 'A Beautiful Mind.' We capped off our excursion at one of Milwaukee's famous Friday fish fries, before going home for an exciting card game--one of two interactive games that we play often."

A few days later I heard from Ray again. His "celebration of life" continued.

"And the beat goes on!" he wrote. "This evening we're taking in a St. Valentine Candlelight Evening for Couples at our church, including liturgy, presentation, sharing and prayer, followed by a delicious romantic candlelight dinner. The special program gives couples insight into their own interactions and helps them strengthen their relationship.

"We have so much to celebrate and be thankful to God for, especially for His bringing Geri and me together. Heck, I'm so darn happy that God brought us together that I want to shout it from the house tops! We're sure you have lots to be thankful for, too. So, go ahead and celebrate.

"And be thankful every day of your life. And maybe just once in a while, enjoy a whole day of celebration. You don't need to find a reason. We all have many reasons to celebrate if you just think about it."

Ray's letter changed my whole attitude about holidays and celebrations. I will never again get wistful or jealous of my happily married friends during Valentine season. I know Valentine's Day is not going to visit me with a rainfall of heart-shaped baubles, fancy cards or romantic dinners. But I sure can create a Valentine's Day that is a celebration of its own.

After reading Ray's letter on Valentine's Day I went out and bought my favorite treat, a box of crunchy milk-chocolate Dove bars and then enjoyed every single bite of one when I got home. Later, I called up my kids who lived out of town and state and we all chatted like jaybirds.

Then I prepared half-a-dozen cheery cards to send to my cousin's husband who has terminal cancer. Then I finished a craft project to give to my oldest granddaughter for her birthday. I learned that the feeling of celebration is more about "doing for others" than for ourselves. It was a fabulous Valentine's Day.

Another thing I learned from Geri and Ray is the fact that we certainly don't need a national holiday to plan a celebration. Pick a day, any day and when you get out of bed in the morning, declare it a grand day of celebration. We can celebrate freedom, family, good health, career, home, church, neighbors, friends ... every body and every thing.

On my next day of celebration I may not pack as many things as Ray and Geri did into my day of celebration (who's got that much energy?) but it'll be grand just the same. Oh, did I mention that Ray is 78 and Geri 70? Hard to keep up with those two.

(Lorenz, an art-of-living writer and speaker, can be contacted at patricialorenz@juno.com.)