Serving the people of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee
Computer, Spanish, science projects: All in a day's work for today's kindergartners
Margaret Plevak - Special to Parenting
MILWAUKEE - Thirty years ago, when Sesame Street was just breaking onto public broadcasting channels, kindergarten was a place where most 5-year-olds learned to string beads, finger-paint and listen to the best of Mother Goose.
In many K-5 programs within local archdiocesan schools today, children are logging onto computers, learning Spanish, and creating science projects.
This isn't your father's kindergarten class. It likely isn't even your own.
Kindergarten has evolved, and one result is programs that offer a full plate of activities, many centering on academic subjects from science to social studies, in an all-day setting.
According to David Prothero, associate director of curriculum and instruction for schools in the Milwaukee Archdiocese, about 55 to 60 schools in the diocese currently have full-day, 5-year-old kindergarten.
The trend's popularity is growing. In its second year of offering the program, St. Bernadette School, Milwaukee, has seen attendance jump from 15 to 24 children.
St. Anthony School, Milwaukee, will be starting an all-day kindergarten this fall. Principal Richard Mason hopes the new program will give children in the predominantly Hispanic and Vietnamese neighborhoods surrounding the school more exposure to English, and give parents more flexibility in their daily schedules, especially if they're walking more than one child to class.
At Mother of Good Counsel School, Milwaukee, where only all-day K-5 is offered, next fall's classes are already full at 48 children, and a new all-day 4-year-old kindergarten is receiving a good response, said Principal Regina Shaw, citing "an extremely high parental demand" as the catalyst for such programs.
Changes that have become the norm for most families, like married couples who both work full-time, make all-day kindergarten appealing to parents.
At Blessed Sacrament School, where kindergarten class starts at 7:45 a.m., five of the 11 children enrolled finish their half-day session at 11:45 a.m.; the remaining six stay until 2:40 p.m. One of those is Max Kent, who attended 3- and 4-year old pre-school before coming to Blessed Sacrament. His mother, Terre, who works as a paralegal in a Milwaukee law firm and whose family are members of both Blessed Sacrament and St. Gregory the Great parishes, said choosing all-day kindergarten over day care for her son was an easy decision.
"What are the alternatives? Mothers need to work, and what do you do with your child in the afternoon, especially someone like Max, who is so inquisitive?" she asked.
"I don't feel that I'm pushing him into an all-day kindergarten just so I can work. And he doesn't come home stressed, like 'Geez, I've been in kindergarten all day. Mom shoved me off.' He loves school."
Society's push to get children learning at an earlier age is part of what's leading schools toward all-day kindergarten, educators believe. And though they see children entering kindergarten at various levels of readiness, the effects of everything from pre-school television programs that promote learning to educational family games are evident.
"I would say even 10 years ago when students entered into K-5, the emphasis was more on socialization and fine and gross motor development, whereas now we're seeing reading readiness," said Sister for Christian Community Rene Kuban, principal of Blessed Sacrament School. "Phonics, or the sounding out of letters, used to be first-grade work. Many of the children who come to us in kindergarten today know how to read, many of them know their numbers; everybody can recite the ABCs."
Because 6- and 7-year olds are expected to be at higher levels of reading and math readiness when they enter first grade than they were 10 years ago, kindergartners, too, must meet higher academic expectations, Kuban said.
Mary Beth Krystowiak, a primary teacher for 14 years, said now it's 4-year-old kindergarten that emphasizes the socialization skills and primary activities, such as learning the names of colors, that traditionally was taught to 5-year-olds. The curriculum in her K-5 classes at Blessed Sacrament is still geared to the youngest of students, but introduces major subjects like math, reading, science and social studies, which prepare children for first grade.
"Some parents are a little taken back by it, like we're pushing too hard or expecting too much. But as a teacher, these are my goals and this is where I have to get these children. Because if I don't have them at that point, then they'll get behind as first-graders," Krystowiak said.
An all-day program, she contends, allows kids not only to learn about these core subjects, but to explore topics further.
"We did a study on butterflies and I brought in a monarch butterfly egg, and the children were able to watch the complete cycle of growth and learn about the different stages," Krystowiak said. "The afternoon students were able to make a chrysalis out of papier mache and paint it, and they made a large diorama outside in the hallway. But there's no way I could have done that with the morning students because time just wouldn't allow it, unfortunately."
Because academics have to be covered in the morning, children who attend the program all day have more built-in time for a nap, an extra recess period, and additional opportunities of less-structured activity with everything from building blocks to a play kitchen center. By the end of the school year, Krystowiak plans to encourage the parents of all her kindergartners to allow their children to stay all day at least once a week in order to help ease kids into a first-grade routine.
Working mom Cindy Klesmit praised the program at Blessed Sacrament, where the family are parishioners, but said she preferred to keep her daughter in the half-day session, and let Ashley spend afternoons with her grandmother.
"Some days (Ashley) would come home and be exhausted, like she had had her fill. Other days she came out of school and she was just raring to go. It was like one day, she'd want to stay all day, and the next day she wouldn't," she said.
Klesmit believes she'll keep the half-day pattern when her 3-year-old son is old enough for kindergarten. "He needs some time also just to be himself. He'll be spending so many years in school anyway, that (my husband and I) don't want to rush him."
Are 5-year-olds ready for full-day kindergarten? Many educators say the answer depends as much on the child as the program.
"For the most part, I would say the majority of these children by far are really excited about coming to school, and the full day does not seem to be a problem. But there are a few who, if they're just not ready, maturity-wise, it might not turn out to be as positive an experience." Krystowiak said.
Robert Fox, a professor of counseling psychology at Marquette University, doesn't object to day-long kindergarten for five-year-olds, but he is concerned about programs that push academics at the expense of what he terms "child time."
"Occasionally I've seen some kids get pushed into stuff and they get pushed at home, all with well intention of hoping to get them off to a good start, but you end up burning out some of these kids in terms of turning them off. I think if you let the kids just kind of unfold naturally, when they're ready, they'll be a lot more excited about learning," said Fox, director of Marquette's Parenting Center, whose staff researches, teaches and educates parents of 1- to 5-year-olds.
"The philosophy of the teacher is extremely important to me," agreed Kuban. "I would not want a pusher. I think it's absolutely key that a kindergarten teacher has to have his or her heart like that of the heart of a child that age, so that learning does not become in any way overbearing. Kids should come to school skipping and laughing."
Kindergartners don't need math class to learn about numbers, she noted, but rather a teacher who talks with children about ideas like the days of the month. Religion can be as simple as learning the sign of the cross or attending Mass with other students occasionally. And a kindergarten program has to keep developing youngsters in mind. "We're still crawling on the floor in these classes," Kuban said.
Patricia Lorenz Special to Parenting
Every parent, teacher, counselor, pastor and more than likely every child in the United States is still shuddering over the horrible killings in Littleton, Colo., on April 20. I can't remember how many times I cried during the week as I witnessed the pain and gut-wrenching agony of those directly affected by the tragedy. As I looked at the vacant stares of the shocked teens who had survived I couldn't imagine what the parents of the dead children were going through.
Like every parent in America I thought, "Could it happen in our school?" The answer, of course, is absolutely. As I watched in horror for days as the events unfolded all I could do was thank God that, as a single parent, I had the courage to say no to my children when they asked for cable TV, MTV, video games, and the Internet.
I also thanked God I had the courage to say no to my boss when he wanted me to work full-time instead of my self-imposed maximum of 25-30 hours per week. I told him I had four children at home who needed me to be there at 3 p.m. every day.
Thank God I had the courage to quit my job and start working out of my home when my youngest started middle school. By then the older three were all in college living away from home and I wasn't about to have the youngest spend his afternoons, vacations and summers in an empty house all alone.
During that gruesome week of April 20 I was reminded of something I read in 1996 written by Catholic News Service columnist Amy Welborn. She talked about continually fighting despair as a Catholic high school teacher, not so much because of the students but because of the lack of caring on the part of the parents. She mentioned how the parents of a student expelled for drinking alcohol he had stored in his locker complained that the school's policies were "extreme and draconian."
She witnessed a mother casually paying for a CD for her 11-year-old son, a CD that featured "lyrics full of obscenities and horrendous attitudes toward sexuality and women." Welborn ended her column by saying, "As much as we love our students, they're not the ones who need the most work. It's their parents."
It's hard to be a parent, especially a single parent, who says no to your kids. I, for one, didn't like the complaining, nagging and begging that went on in my house when my kids were teen-agers. But I stuck to my tough love values and said no to cable TV, which, thank goodness, also meant no to the MTV channel with its vulgar, offensive song lyrics.
I said no to Internet access on the computer because I didn't want my kids exploring websites or chat rooms with strangers, discovering porn on the net or learning how to build bombs.
I said no to my kids when they asked if they could have a car. I said, "Teen-agers have no business owning cars. You're not going to have a part-time job to support a car. If you have time in between all your school activities to have a part-time job then you'll save the money for college."
I said no to my children a lot and goodness knows I certainly didn't win any "mother of the year" awards in their eyes during those years. My reward for saying no came later.
It came last May when my oldest received a master's degree from Yale University. She is now an artist in New York City, teaching part-time at a university.
My reward for saying no is seeing my second daughter happily married with two children, starting her own aerobics business.
It's watching my third child teach in a Catholic high school as the band director, also happily married with two children and for nine years a member of the National Guard band.
My reward for saying no is witnessing my fourth child make good grades as a college freshman, 2,000 miles from home, while struggling with a debilitating disease.
Too many parents today are so wrapped up in their own money-grubbing lives, convinced that it takes two parents working full-time and overtime to provide all that stuff they think a family needs. But kids don't need stuff. Kids need their parents' time, attention and family activities. They need their parents to be home. Otherwise, out of boredom and sheer loneliness, they lock themselves in their rooms with acid music, violent movies and the Internet, learning how to build pipe bombs, honor Hitler and kill their classmates.
Thank God I said no to my kids and to my boss.
(Lorenz, an Oak Creek resident, spends her life writing and speaking to groups and is the mother of four grown children. She can be reached through Catholic Herald Parenting.)
James Pankratz Special to Parenting
At the recent Academy Awards ceremony many winners - Gwyneth Paltrow, Roberto Benigni, and Steven Spielberg - had something in common. During their acceptance speeches they all thanked their parents. Holding his Oscar, Steven Spielberg told his father "This one's for you!"
Judith Rich Harris might say their gratitude was misplaced.
Harris is the author of "The Nurture Assumption," a controversial 1998 book that attempts to dismantle one of our culture's most widely accepted and heartfelt beliefs about our role as parents. Her goal, stated in the preface's first sentence, is "to dissuade you of the notion that a child's personality - what used to be called 'character' - is shaped or modified by the child's parents."
Think you learned how to act by watching your parents?
Not so. Harris asserts, "children cannot learn how to behave by imitating their parents ... because most of the things they see their parents doing ... are prohibited to children." She cites examples such as "bossing other people around, driving cars ... coming and going as they please." She concludes, "From the child's point of view, socialization in the early years consists mainly of learning that you're not supposed to behave like your parents."
Interesting point. But it sounds too pat, too simplistic. What about the child's education in social etiquette and moral values? Where do children learn to say "thank you" when they receive a birthday present? Where do they learn you don't hit someone you're mad at, and you don't steal your neighbor's bright, shiny new bike? By their words, and most importantly their actions, mom and dad are the leaders here.
Harris claims it is first and foremost the child's social group that shapes who he or she becomes. Over and over she asserts the power of the child's peers. She invites us to think of childhood as the time when children learn what their social group expects of them. She calls this "group socialization theory" and says it predicts "that children would develop into the same sort of adults if we left their lives outside the home unchanged - left them in their schools and their neighborhoods - but switched all the parents around."
I am not able to accept this conclusion. Harris probably would say it's because I have bought the "nurture assumption" like most other therapists and psychologists. I am not able to address all of the arguments of a 462-page book in this column, but frequent readers know my primary message is that parents make a big difference - the biggest difference - in the well-being of their children. In my experience, clients rarely talk about something a classmate said to them in fourth grade. They do remember what mom and dad said and did.
Even Harris has a chapter devoted to "What Parents Can Do." She says "parents can influence their children's choice of a profession or their leisure-time activities." In addition she concedes that parents can influence the way they behave at home, can provide useful knowledge and training for the outside world, can impart in-home cultural habits such as cooking, and instill religious beliefs. Profession, useful knowledge, and religion - hey, that's not bad!
I would go further than that. Harris says parents cannot pick their children's personalities. True. But personality and character are two different things. Parents can influence character - the moral values and convictions which serve as the guiding compass in navigating through life's decisions. And they can help children feel good about the personalities they have. Through praise they can teach the art of self acceptance.
Jason shows musical talent. His dad would like Jason to give him a hand fixing the car. Dad has a choice. He can yell at him to stop wasting his time practicing the trumpet and do something useful for a change. Or while he's showing his son the ins and outs of a car engine, he could mention that the Imperial March is sounding better and better. Dad may learn to accept his son is a person in his own right, not a carbon copy of him. This will help his son accept that reality as well.
The results of a recent study published in the March 1 Milwaukee Journal Sentinel suggest parents are the primary character builders for their kids.
The Kaiser Family Foundation, a non-profit independent national health care organization, teamed with the independent agency Children Now to survey children ages 10 through 15 about where they turned for guidance. The conclusion: "Children still consider their parents - far ahead of friends - as the best source of advice."
The survey asked kids to whom they'd turn in the following situations: if they were threatened with violence, if they were pressured to have sex, if they were pressured to drink alcohol or use drugs.
In each case, a majority of kids, by a wide margin, would turn first to their parents for advice. Even the teen-agers, ages 13 to 15, valued their parents' opinions. And 74 percent "said they did not think their parents were old-fashioned about sex or were judgmental, and 91 percent actually felt their parents were helpful."
The Nurture Assumption does make for thought-provoking reading. However, don't put your kids on automatic pilot and fly off to the Bahamas just yet. If we believe our children, we still have plenty to do.
(Pankratz is a marriage and family therapist in Catholic Charities' Milwaukee regional office.)
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