Serving the people of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee
Sacrament of sick restored to original role of healing ritual
Ethel Gintoft - Special to Parenting
Picture this:
You are sitting in the hospital lounge waiting to see your brother who is being prepared for colon surgery. Your daughter Mia and your grandmother have walked down the hospital hall to get a drink from the water fountain. You page through the news magazine on your lap.
Suddenly Mia comes running into the lounge, a look of anguish on her face. "Mom," she blurts, "Great Granny and I saw a priest go inside Uncle Leo's room. Great Granny started to cry, 'Oh, Lord, he's worse!' That's what she said. Is Uncle Leo dying, Mom? Is he?"
Would you panic, too? Or would you be able to explain to her what was happening?
For Great Granny the sight of a priest entering a sick room used to mean the last rite, the last opportunity to be anointed and prepared for eternity. "Extreme Unction" or what was sometimes incorrectly called "Last Rites" was usually administered when death seemed to be near.
Today anointing by a priest need not suggest the patient is dying. Today the sacrament has been restored to its original purpose: to unite a sick person with the suffering death and resurrection of Christ, so that the sick person can be strengthened by the presence and love of Christ and the support of the whole church.
The priest in your brother's case was administering this Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.
But wait a minute. Isn't the church concerned with the soul, with things spiritual? Isn't the priest's job to help people grow in holiness and attain salvation?
If you read the New Testament you will see that Jesus' concern for the sick was a wholistic one. He healed bodies as well as souls. He healed people who were blind, diseased, lame, and mentally ill.
In Matthew's account, for example, Jesus stretches out his hand and touches the leper and says, "Be cured."
A passage in Mark says, "Jesus could work no miracle there (Nazareth), apart from curing a few who were sick by laying hands on them."
Luke describes the wide scope of his healing, "At sunset, all who had people with a variety of diseases took them to him, and he laid hands on them and cured them." In the example of Matthew's paralyzed man, Jesus forgives the man of his sins and then orders him to stand up. Jesus shows that the physical and the spiritual are connected and that God has the power to heal both dimensions of human life.
Jesus, the divine physician, passed this caring, healing mission on to his disciples: "He summoned the Twelve and began to send them out in two by two ... they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them."
The Acts of the Apostles gives us an example of carrying out his wishes: Peter and John heal a disabled beggar at the temple gate, enabling him to walk for the first time.
As the early church developed, ministry to the sick became an informal practice performed by ordinary Christians for members of their families and neighboring communities. The sick would seek healing by asking others to pray for them. Sometimes the others would place their hands on them as a gesture of the power of prayer. Some bishops would bless oil specially for this healing ministry.
Reference to the anointing of the sick as a sacrament (one of the seven of the Catholic Church) wasn't made until the fifth century when Pope St. Innocent in a letter to a bishop explained the meaning of James 5:14. That scriptural passage is usually considered the basis for the sacrament.
James writes to the Christians in Jerusalem, "Is any of you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven."
However, by the Middle Ages, between the ninth and 16th centuries, anointing of the sick came to mean preparation for death, to free the dying individual from sin. The eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands and feet were anointed.
The Second Vatican Council remedied the situation by placing the healing ritual in the environment of community prayer and concern for all those who are seriously ill but not necessarily dying. This is what we have now, both for individuals and for groups of sick people.
Human sexuality coures are part of curriculum in archdiocesan classrooms
Margaret Plevak - Special to Parenting
Students heading back to school will study more than just reading, writing and arithmetic in the classroom.
Since it was adopted in 1975, a curriculum policy has mandated that the subject of human sexuality - also known as family life education or human growth and development - have a place in the elementary and secondary parochial schools and religious education programs throughout the Milwaukee Archdiocese.
Area administrators, principals and teachers interviewed for this article say that, by and large, the majority of parents find the human sexuality programs currently taught belong in today's classrooms alongside mathematics, language and religion as another course that helps prepare children for the future. Those parents, they say, have expressed their approval at school meetings, in surveys and with personal comments.
But officials also acknowledged that some parents object to a subject they feel is out of bounds everywhere but in the home and have exercised their option to remove their children from the course or, in extreme cases, from the school itself.
Both sides agree that human sexuality in schools can, at times, become a complicated issue, layered by strong beliefs, emotions, and circumstances.
In setting up the structure of family life education courses, schools must follow curriculum guidelines laid down by the archdiocese and a general directory for catechesis, as well as in two additional documents: "Human Sexuality, A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning," published in 1990 by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops-United States Catholic Conference; and "Educational Guidance in Human Love," written in 1983 by the Vatican Congregation for Catholic Education.
The schools themselves decide at which grade levels the programs will be taught. About half of the 145 schools in the diocese include family life curriculum to students in grades one through four.
Schools also determine how frequently the programs will be taught. At Christ King Elementary School in Wauwatosa, for example, rather than starting in September, the family life program begins on Ash Wednesday and runs through Holy Thursday. By that time, said School Sister of Notre Dame Martha Meyer, principal, teachers have developed a rapport with the children.
Although the text must be approved by the office of curriculum and instruction, individual schools have some flexibility.
"We encourage the use of a textbook series because it gives the proper scope and sequence for the development of Catholic sexuality," said Jean Marie Weber, associate director of the archdiocesan Office for Schools, Child and Youth Ministries.
A series called "New Creation," published by Brown-Rowa, is one of several recommended texts, and is currently used in approximately 40 schools in the archdiocese. Topics in a "New Creation" text for third-graders include ways to pray, the importance of keeping promises, and a simple description of human reproduction explained in terms of how a child was conceived by his parents. By eighth grade, "New Creation" students are covering such subjects as chastity, dating and moral decision-making.
Teacher Mary Vander Beke, who uses the "New Creation" text, has a closed-door policy for her fourth- and fifth-grade family life classes at St. Patrick Elementary School in Elkhorn.
"When the (classroom) door is closed, that means the children are not allowed to talk about our discussions on the playground," she said. "I always tell them, of course, that doesn't mean they can't tell their parents about what we say, but I don't want to hear any of it at recess, or anyone getting teased about a question they asked in class."
Vander Beke said questions from her students usually center around the changes they're noticing in their bodies. Many children, she's found, want reassurance they're developing normally.
Down the hall in the eighth-grade classroom, teacher Jan Pappa finds herself answering questions on morals and values, getting along with peers and making the right choices.
"Kids question what's happening in society an awful lot, what they see in the news, on TV and in their families, " said Pappa, who admitted to often using her own children as examples in class discussions.
She encourages students to talk to their parents and sees parental influence on kids when it comes to class discussions on everything from drugs to divorce.
Another popular family life text, "Fully Alive," published by Collier/MacMillan, is used in classes at St. Mary Elementary School, Elm Grove.
"I really think this program is a way to help children become more sensitive and aware of the gift that we are, both body and soul," said principal and School Sister of Notre Dame Elizabeth Uchytil. "For the older children, it's a way to see that this garbage that they're so often exposed to in the media goes against who we say we are as Catholics, as God has created us to be."
Pastor Fr. Dan Pakenham feels a family life course should be a "broad-based human development program" closely aligned with a school's religion program.
"It should touch on a lot of different areas of moral development in a child that have to do with personal and social morality, like what does it mean to be a good citizen in this country, or how you show your love for others in practical and concrete ways, like the works of mercy. And when it comes to sexuality, it should follow the church's basic teaching having to do with personal morality, respect for one's self and others, and reserving sex for marriage - the usual things we teach vis-à-vis the sixth and ninth commandments."
Because human sexuality is such a sensitive topic, curriculum policy urges schools to plan family life programs carefully and include parental input as much as possible.
"You have to do your homework," said David Prothero, archdiocesan associate director for school curriculum and instruction. "It's critical that you establish a committee of parents, teachers and administrators to develop the program, so that when you implement it, you've created a broad base of support."
Uchytil said parents of children at St. Mary are allowed the opportunity to view the entire text series and meet with the teacher before classes start. They're also given their own family copy of the text and outlines of chapters that will be discussed in each class.
"We're not bringing in other things that parents aren't aware of," she said.
But some parents have found material in course texts or supplementary information to be inappropriate for younger children. Steve Lazoritz, whose children presently attend a Catholic high school and a private elementary school, said one example of explicitness that disturbed him in a family life textbook he reviewed was a crossword puzzle exercise to be filled in with words describing parts of the anatomy.
"Talking about the biology of sexuality is one thing, but giving explicit descriptions is another. I think that what this does is desensitizes children to this type of sexuality," he said.
Dan Malloy agreed. While this father of nine said his reasons against human sexuality in the classroom are complex, one of his objections is that it often introduces concepts to a child before he or she is ready.
"It's not that this subject is a dirty, Victorian, don't-touch-it type of thing," Malloy insisted. "It's just that it's not in its nature to be taught that way. It disturbs a very natural period and puts kids in harm's way. Children should remain innocent for as long as possible, and more information than necessary damages their latency period."
"If you teach children what the church teaches about chastity and love, about responsibility and honesty, you don't have to get into 'this is what happens with the body'," said Al Szews, father of three adult children.
Like some other parents interviewed, Szews and his wife, Margo, who for years have been vocal critics of human sexuality in the classroom, question the inclusion of some material, such as information on birth control methods, in a Catholic textbook. They're also concerned that class instructors present church teaching as only one option for children to follow.
"The child ends up making decisions according to situational ethics rather than forming the correct conscience within Catholic teaching," said Margo Szews. "The whole problem with these courses is that they're all based in moral relativism, and they all use this values clarification technique to teach what they call moral decision making. But what it does is it teaches situational ethics, and that's in direct violation of church teaching."
"The church's teaching is that you have to follow your conscience," argues Pakenham, a former rector of Saint Francis Seminary. "And your conscience has to be well-informed. That's why we are teaching children about this, and teaching them with Catholic values in mind."
The Szewses said schools are usurping parental responsibility by teaching human sexuality. The couple cited a document titled "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality" written in 1995 by the Pontifical Council on the Family as proof that the church believes sex should not be taught in the classroom, only by parents.
Weber agreed parents need to be the primary teachers of their children's sexuality, but said a cooperative partnership of home, school and church, was essential, especially in a modern culture that daily exposes children to distorted and misrepresented visions of sex.
Instead of "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality," which she believes is misunderstood by some people, Weber suggested parents look to the U.S. bishops' directives which encourage support from schools. Parents also should remember that recommended course texts have imprimaturs and nihil obstats, official declarations that a publication is free of doctrinal or moral error. And the texts, she said, are considered religion - not science - books.
"We are not just teaching biology classes here. We are teaching Catholic morals and Catholic values around human sexuality and that makes all the difference in the world, " Weber said.
Lisa Smith, feels the program at St. Patrick is reinforcing what she and her husband discuss with their three children, ages 7, 10 and 12.
"I would rather have my kids learn about these topics in a Christian atmosphere, and come to us or a teacher with their questions," Smith said. "I can give my second-grader a simple explanation to her question and she's fine with it, but if I told her no, you don't need to know about that, it would just make her question it more. She'd probably get on the school bus and ask somebody else, and who knows what kind of answer she'd get."
Ann Duthie, whose 13-year old daughter attends St. Mary, also sees a school program as one part of a child's education in sexuality.
"I do not turn over my role as teacher in this area to the school. We still do a lot of discussing at home, but I welcome what they do at school as part of the whole picture," she said.
Archdiocesan policy gives parents the option of removing their child from a family life education class if they don't wish him or her to take part. The child may be offered study time during the period or end up spending that time at home, but parents say a school schedule doesn't always allow for such changes. Even when it does, some parents say they or their child feel ostracized if they opt out of the class.
If parents and principals can't work out a solution, they may turn to the archdiocesan office of curriculum and instruction for help in negotiating their concerns. Weber said her office fields an average of one call a month from parents and schools with concerns.
While parents may remove their own children from a class, curriculum policy states they must not prevent family life education courses from being held in the school for the sake of other children, she said.
While not all local Catholics see eye to eye on this issue, there is some common ground. Most would agree that parents have a responsibility to look at, question, and understand the texts that are being taught to their children. And they should be talking about sex to their children themselves.
Patricia Lorenz - Special to Parenting
After five days alone with my oldest grandchild, I have finally, for the first time in my life, begun to understand 5-year-olds.
I used to think 5-year-olds could soak in every detail of every adventure they experienced. Miss Hailey and her parents go camping a lot. Exploring, hiking, boating, animal-watching, canoeing, cooking, campfire story-telling, tent-sleeping type of camping.
But when asked what she does when she goes camping Hailey replied, "Oh, nothing much. We just sit there and roast marshmallows." I learned then that 5-year-olds tend to zero in on the one thing they like to do best and that's what they remember.
I used to think 5-year-olds were completely open, honest and innocent when dealing with their elders. When asked what time she usually goes to bed, knowing the magic number was 8 or 9 p.m., Miss Hailey responded seriously, "Anytime I want. Usually midnight." After smothering my laugh I understood that a 5-year-old's sense of truth is based more on her needs and wants than on her ability to comprehend numbers and time. I learned that what a young child wants desperately actually becomes truth.
I used to think 5-year-olds understood the difference between real and pretend. Out of the blue one day while I was fixing dinner, Miss Hailey said, "When my Dad was little, his Dad cooked worms and his whole family ate them all." I learned that 5-year-olds believe everything you tell them, especially campfire stories from a Dad with an outrageous sense of humor.
And even if they don't really believe, 5-year-olds pretend to believe because in their minds it makes for a great story. Show me an adult who hasn't perfected the art of exaggeration and I'll show you a party blob. Great storytelling ability is probably honed at age 5.
I never had a theory about whether or not 5-year-olds had a sense of direction but Miss Hailey clarified that for me one day while we were heading to the children's museum in downtown Milwaukee. As she observed the compass in my car, she asked, "Are we going East?"
"Why, yes we are," I responded.
She pointed to all the letters on the compass. "East, West, North, South."
I responded with a teaching moment, pointing in all directions. "That's East, over there is West, North is there and South is there."
The 5-year-old who lives in Central Wisconsin shot back in all seriousness, "Ours are different. Our 'North' is over there."
The interesting thing is that I know plenty of adults who still don't know their directions.
One night after Hailey and I had been to a magic show in the park, we drove home, put on our pajamas, had a snack, read a few stories and realized it was after 10 p.m. Miss Hailey asked, "Can I call my Mom?"
"It's awfully late, honey. Time for bed. You can call your Mom in the morning, OK?"
"No, my Mom sleeps all day. She takes a long nap in the morning and then she sleeps all afternoon. She sleeps all day. So I have to call her at night. Like right now."
Knowing my daughter works four days a week and takes short naps only during her current pregnancy, I learned that a 5-year-old's perception of reality is based on her need for the moment. Instant gratification at all costs. Funny thing, I've observed the same trait in adults when they're out shopping for clothes, sporting goods, housewares or tools.
As we drove to the beach one day, Hailey offered me one of her colorful Ike and Mike candies. "Thank you, sweetie," I said. "I'll take a green one. Mmmmm. It's good. Tastes like lime."
The 5-year-old in the front seat responded seriously as she also munched on a green one. "Hmmmm. I think it tastes like glass cleaner."
I learned at that moment that a 5-year-old's sense of forthrightness and tell-it-like-it-is is deeply imbedded within the core of her very being.
Yes, it's amazing what you can learn from a 5-year-old if you listen closely. Their world and their needs are really no different than ours. Five-year-olds are just starting to figure things out, think for themselves, make their own decisions, tell their own stories, and get a grip on reality.
I know one thing. I'm going to listen to 5-year-olds a lot more closely from now on. There's a lot more of "us" in them than meets the eye.
Good night, Hailey. God bless you!
(Lorenz, a nationally known inspirational writer, lives in Oak Creek with the youngest of her four children. She spends most of her time writing books and recently released her first audio book, "Hugs for Your Heart." It is available by calling (800) 276-6175.)
Take a break from fast track of life
James Pankratz - Special to Parenting
Speed dial ... QuickMart ... Photos in 1 Hour ... FotoFast ... Light Speed ... Warp Drive ... Instant Coffee ... 186,000 miles per second ... Mach 1 ... Federal Express....
At my son's soccer tournament, I overheard two moms talking about whether they would sign up their sons for a select team. One warned the other that if the boy made the team, the family would have to drive to Madison and even out-of-state for games and tournaments. "You'll do nothing but eat, sleep, and drink soccer," she predicted.
The other mom mentioned that her husband's job meant she had the responsibilities of her three children much of the time. I think they both went ahead and signed their sons to a select team.
While they were talking, I was wondering why, unless their kids showed signs of Olympic potential, would they put themselves through the fast-track torture? I felt like a real slacker until I realized that when people complain about being busy, they're usually bragging, "I'll prove to you how responsible and dedicated I am."
People in Alcoholics Anonymous admit that they drink - what if there were groups for people who take it easy? I can hear the confessions now, "On Sunday afternoon, I swung back and forth in the hammock for two hours." What?? With all the weeding, pruning, mulching and hoeing to do?
Pay attention to conversations. People feel guilty about admitting they took it easy unless they were ill, exhausted, or recovering from the Black Death. You rarely hear anyone admit to "just loafing." When they do, they justify it by saying they were completely drained after two weeks of "round-the-clock peace negotiations in the Middle East."
The other day I decided to run a little experiment. I called Catholic Charities central office the old-fashioned way, by punching in seven numbers on the telephone. It took 10 seconds from the first number to the time the phone rang.
Then I called the same number using the state-of-the-art speed dial feature. It took 14 seconds. I don't know why speed dial took longer, why it robbed me of four seconds of my life that are gone forever.
Of course running the experiment blew 34 seconds all together. They're gone forever, too, - or are they? What happens when we allow for more whimsy in our life? When we slow life down a little? If you're interested in finding out, run some experiments of your own.
The ultimate test: sit quietly in a lawn chair for 30 minutes of silence!
What we discover when we slow down is that life is different than when we're rushing around. Every August our family looks forward to the summer sky show called the Perseid meteor shower (it's called a shower but it's more like a trickle in the city, where my family and I watch it from an upstairs porch). Every few minutes a ball of fire streaks across the sky, usually from north to south, and burns out in less than two seconds.
You can't order a meteor. You can't schedule one. You don't know for sure what quadrant of the sky it will come from, or how often. The only way to watch the show is to stretch out on your back, be patient, and gaze at the infinity above.
(Pankratz is a marriage and family therapist in Catholic Charities' Milwaukee regional office.)
Copyright, 1997 by Catholic Herald, Milwaukee, WI
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