• Heidi M. Antoni, St. Joseph, Waupun

• Paula Beine, Holy Angels, West Bend

• Daniel J. Strandt, St. John the Evangelist, Greenfield

• Erik Anderson, St. John Vianney, Brookfield

• Gregory Ermatinger, Our Lady of Peace, Marshfield

• Daniel Piessens, St. Mary's Visitation, Elm Grove

• Jon Whittet, Old St. Mary, Milwaukee

Because of SS. Peter and Paul on Milwaukee’s East Side, Prus serves at St. Ben’s Community Meal, Guest House and Gilda’s Club. All it took was the invitation of fellow parishioners to get Prus involved.

“You have to go outside the box,” said Prus. “What good is your faith if you just do it for an hour? You have to bring Jesus to the world – ‘do this to the least of my brethren.’”

Take Prus’ volunteering at St. Ben’s. It all started when she turned down dessert with a friend because it was Lent.

“She told me, ‘Don’t give up something for Lent, do something,’” recalled Prus.

Now, she urges families to volunteer as a Lenten activity.

“If we get enough people, they might have to go only a couple times a year,” she adds.

Prus, 49, is comfortable talking with those served by St. Ben’s and Guest House –

and with those affected by cancer. She herself had breast cancer, which was treated in the fall of 2008 with a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation.

Recently, Prus reconnected with a high school classmate whose name she spotted on a group e-mail. In one of their first exchanges, the man e-mailed that he had cancer that had metastasized.

“He asked me, ‘How did you know you were going to be OK?’” related Prus. “I said, ‘I felt I would never be alone.’ I never thought God would ever let me down or let me be alone, let anything bad happen. I had a gut feeling, I guess.”

The classmate is considering converting to Catholicism, and Prus has offered to be his sponsor.

Prus also has given moral support to her sister-in-law’s best friend – “who I didn’t know from Adam” – when she learned she had cancer.

It didn’t take cancer to make Prus devoted to her prayer life. What cancer did, however, was give a new focus to prayer. She wears a crucifix and a Marian medal as a silent prayer throughout her day.

“The Virgin Mary is somebody I pray to every day,” she said. “I feel she was a motherly influence in my recovery.”

Prus also attends the monthly first Friday Mass for Healing in honor of St. Peregrine, the patron saint of cancer patients, at Blessed Sacrament Parish on South 41st Street, Milwaukee.

Though she lives on the East Side, Prus is familiar with the South Side, having grown up near St. Vincent de Paul Parish on Mitchell Street. She was in the third class of girls to attend Tech High School.

“My mom was the parish secretary, and my dad was an electrician for the city who did a lot of side jobs for the pastor at his cottage,” explained Prus. “That’s where I learned my involvement with the parish. It was something you did. It was a given.”

Prus said she is comfortable around priests and religious because “they’ve always been part of my life.” She counts among her dearest friends Bishop Richard J. Sklba, as well as several nuns.

After she was diagnosed, Prus jotted an e-mail to Bishop Sklba, saying, “By the way, can you say an extra prayer for me?”

“He wrote back and said, ‘You don’t get a ‘by-the-way’ prayer, you get a real one,’” Prus recalled with a laugh.

Prus talks about SS. Peter and Paul Parish as her second family. There, she serves as an acolyte and has worked on many committees and events.

“When you do things, it builds the community of the parish,” she said. “People you meet volunteering are your lifelong friends.”

Prus said she finds it convenient to help her parish because she lives just a couple blocks away. She says it’s no big deal, for instance, to bake – from scratch – for the RCIA sessions and deliver the treats to church each week.

Monica Meagher, a parish staff member for 15 years, sees it differently.

“It’s a great sign to this community of new people of welcome and hospitality,” said Meagher, director of adult formation. “It’s part of how she’s poured out her life for God, and it’s a rare thing in a parish.”

Prus’ husband of nearly 30 years, Ken, himself went through the RCIA program several years ago. He helps with the RCIA sessions and is a former chair of the parish council. They have two children and three young grandchildren.

Prus works for a chemical company while her husband has been largely out of work since his employer downsized about seven years ago.

“We know that things are not important,” she said. “People are important, and it’s how you treat people and live your life that counts, not what you own.”

“Bird go!”

“Yes, the bird did leave the fence and fly away. I wonder where it’s going? Maybe to feed the baby birds!”

As time moves on, though, innocuous statements about birds, trucks and bodily functions are replaced by opinions. The child who used to point out, “Peas green,” now needs to tell us exactly why she doesn’t like peas. The triumphant exclamation of, “Boots! Jacket! Mittens!” is replaced by, “Don’t wanna wear boots!”

Before I became a parent, I was a middle school teacher. At the time, I was struck by how easily I could divide the class into the complainers and the non-complainers. For the complainers, everything was a trial. The homework load was too heavy; the gym teams were unfair; it was too cold at recess. I watched, amazed, as many of these kids even complained about treats and privileges – they didn’t get a second brownie; the upcoming field trip wouldn’t be fun; the movie chosen wasn’t what they wanted. Yet, in the same classroom would be other kids who rarely, if ever, complained. They approached homework matter-of-factly; they were grateful for treats; they took disappointment in stride.

While my job as a teacher was to make sure all the children in my class received an education, looking back, I can say that some kids were a pleasure to teach, while others were a pain. Perhaps more importantly, though, I noticed that the kids who didn’t complain weren’t just holding back their negative comments; these kids were truly more content and more optimistic. They tended to be more focused and more successful.

As a young middle school teacher, I decided that if I would ever be fortunate enough to be a mother some day, I would want my children to be non-complainers.

I have come to believe that gratefulness and non-complaining must be taught by parents, just as surely as potty training and the alphabet must be taught. While some children might be naturally grateful and non-complaining, they are rare – as rare as kids who teach themselves to read and potty train themselves in a day or two.

While this might sound discouraging, really it’s not, because just as most kids can learn to read or use the bathroom, so they can learn gratefulness. But it takes some work.

One of the best phrases I stumbled upon a few years ago is, “What I think you mean to say is…”  I’m not sure which child of mine rolled his eyes upon seeing the bowl of green beans on the dinner table, and had a disparaging remark about them. Annoyed with his lack of gratitude, I spoke without thinking.

“What I think you mean to say, is, ‘Thanks, Mom,, for making dinner,’” I said to him. He looked at me quizzically, but didn’t say anything more.

From that dinner on, “What I think you mean to say…”  has occupied a regular place in our family lexicon. While Bill and I don’t use it as a response to questions and complaints that have some legitimacy, it’s the perfect response to sassing back, whining and general complaining when there’s nothing about which to complain. Overall, it works. The phrase has the ability to stop the complaint, while reframing the situation within the context of respect or gratefulness.

“I wanna watch another show!”

“What I think you mean to say is, ‘Thanks, Mom, for letting me watch TV.’”

“I didn’t mess up the basement.”

“I think what you mean to say is, ‘OK, Dad, I’ll clean up the basement.’”

What I notice, having used the phrase for a number of years, is that often the kids actually repeat what I say, even though I don’t necessarily tell them they have to. It’s almost like they’re glad someone told them the words; glad someone gave them the script. Whether they can articulate it or not, they’re relieved to have a positive alternative for the negative comment that they automatically spoke.

Slowly, I have seen gratefulness become more of a habit for each of my children. As they have learned the words to say, they have started to say them more on their own, without reminders from me.

“Thanks, Mom, for making dinner,” Jacob said gamely to me the other night, when he noticed his not-so-favorite dish on the table. I raised my eyebrows and we both smiled.

And the lesson is not just for the children. After coming home from book club one evening, I commented to my husband on the few still unwashed dishes remaining on the kitchen counter.

“I think what you mean to say,” Bill said to me, “ is, ‘Thanks for cleaning so much of the kitchen and putting the kids to bed so I could go to book club.’”

Ouch. Thanks indeed. We all need reminders every so often.

(Scobey-Polacheck, her husband Bill and their children, belong to St. Francis of Assisi Parish, Milwaukee and St. Monica Parish, Whitefish Bay. Her book, “Discovering Motherhood,” a compilation of her columns, is available at local bookstores or online.)

Bishop Brian Farrell ordains Shane Johnson, a member of the Legionaires of Christ, in the Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls, Rome last Dec. 12. (Submitted photo)

MEQUON

Fr. Johnson attended St. Francis Borgia School, Cedarburg, and is a 1994 graduate of Marquette University High School, Milwaukee. His ordination is the culmination of 14 years of preparation for the priesthood.

Luke Kraemer, a sixth grader at St. Mary Parish School in Menomonee Falls, explains how his class supported a needy parish family by purchasing Thanksgiving groceries with the $50 that Fr. Greg Greiten, pastor of St. Mary Parish, gave to each of the 16 classrooms as part of the $50 Stewardship Project Challenge. Pictured left to right are Madison Micech, Kelly Royer, Julia Moran, Chelsea Bingenheimer, Beth Kuske, Lauren Schleicher, Nathaniel Atkinson, Mitchell Klaver, Melanie Sona and Noah Cornette. (Catholic Herald photo by Juan C. Medina)

Fr. Greg continued by dropping the $10 on the floor and stomping on it.

“Now who wants it?” Hands were raised high again.

“No matter what I do to this $10 bill, you recognize that it never lost its value,” said Fr. Greg. “The same with us as people: we’re very valuable in God’s eyes.”

That was the prelude to Fr. Greiten’s $50 Stewardship Project Challenge at St. Mary Parish School, Menomonee Falls.

“I’m going to give (each class) a $50 bill,” Fr. Greiten told the excited school children. “Now there’s one thing: you don’t get to keep it” (sigh of disappointment).

The goal was not to be a money-maker, but to teach students how to be good stewards of their resources and to reach out to help others.

16 classrooms, 16 projects

After brainstorming and research, each of the 16 classrooms at St. Mary Parish School came up with a different project.

First graders adopted two struggling parish families and gave them a certificate for a Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas stockings, mittens, cards and more.

Second graders supported a 1-year-old boy named Parker and his parents. Parker’s kidneys do not function as he was born with end stage renal failure. He needs 12 hours of dialysis each night, has been in the hospital for 10 surgeries and six other treatments since birth, and will receive his mother’s kidney once he is old enough.

Diane Harley’s sixth grade class supported a needy parish family by purchasing Thanksgiving groceries. The students compiled a list of food items and shopped at Pick ‘n Save together. Pooling together the leftover money from parents’ donations, children bought other items, including a flower plant centerpiece, Advent calendar, cards, doughnuts and a scratch-off lottery ticket – for future good luck!

Harley told your Catholic Herald how the children wanted to deliver the groceries in person, but she had to explain why the family might prefer to remain anonymous.

“We delivered the bags to Deacon Tom Monday at the parish office. When the mother came in and saw the bags, she burst into tears. She said they wouldn’t have a Thanksgiving dinner without us,” she said. The kids learned “how lucky they are,” said Harley. “I was very, very proud of them. And they were proud of themselves.”

Melanie Sona, left, Noah Cornett, middle, and Sal Calatola, three fifth grade students at St. Mary Parish School in Menomonee Falls, show off the fruits of their $50 Stewardship Project Challenge efforts. (Catholic Herald photo by Juan C. Medina)

Several classes used their $50 to support organizations such as Operation Christmas Child, Ronald McDonald House, Heifer International, which provides rabbits, chicks, and ducks to the poor, Samaritan’s Purse, which stocked a fish pond in Liberia, Humane Animal Welfare Society, and the American Cancer Society. The eighth graders worked to raise additional funds by sponsoring an out-of-uniform “twin” day, where two students dressed as twins.

Sixth grade teacher Sue Schmidt explained to your Catholic Herald that almost everyone originally wanted to help the Humane Society, but she encouraged her class to consider other needs as well. Sixth grader Grace Liacopoulos is adopted from China, and her family sponsors a baby in China through a foundation that helps children with disabilities. Liacopoulos brought in a plea to her classmates to use the $50 to help baby Madeline, who needs heart surgery.

“They learned there are people everywhere hurting and it was hard to decide who to help. They were upset that it was only $50. Some added their own money to it. It was a step outside themselves to see others’ needs. They learned about China and the one child per family policy and the lack of tolerance of children with disabilities. Grace herself has had several surgeries here in America. It helped the other students appreciate what her family goes through,” said Schmidt. “It was a child-driven project. That’s the glory of it.”

Leftovers turn into hats, scarves

Eighth graders in Cathy Ferderbar’s class thought ahead to winter and decided to make five fleece blankets for HOPE Network/The Charter House that helps single moms and their children. They used leftover scraps of material to make hats and scarves.

Eighth grader Lauren Schleicher explained, “It was fun because we worked together – team work. It was eye-opening because of so many different needs. Fifty dollars is a lot, but you wish you had more.”

That’s how many children felt.

“The kids realized how many people need help and they only had this $50,” said principal Linda Joyner. “They thought it was a lot in the beginning, but only to realize after they did the research that they couldn’t help everybody and the need that was there.”

In a Sunday Mass homily, Fr. Greiten said one can always use more resources, “But the challenge of the Gospel is with the resources that you do have, what can you do with them, and how do you make a difference, and how do you bring forth the Kingdom of God.”

Through spin-off homilies, the $50 challenge seeded more stewardship outreach in the parish. For his Christmas homily, Fr. Greiten wrapped up five $10 bills and gave them away to different people who attended the Mass.

“I told them this is Fr. Greg’s gift-giving,” said Fr. Greiten. “Here’s the rule: you cannot keep this gift for yourself; it has to be given away. Secondly, it has to be used to do good. You can help someone, you can support a cause, but I want you to make a difference in the world.”

As Fr. Greiten explained, “That was taking this a step further.”

Putting preaching into action

In the week following his Christmas homily, Fr. Greiten was approached by a parishioner who took his words to heart – the individual gave the priest seven envelopes, each with $11 inside. During the New Year’s homily, Fr. Greiten again challenged parishioners about doing good and making a difference, and gave away the seven envelopes, “and so the whole thing just carried on,” he said.

“It’s exciting, the lessons that have been learned,” said Fr. Greiten. “I could have given 10 homilies on stewardship that would have gone right over people’s heads. It’s putting preaching into action.”

During Lent, each of the Christian formation classes is taking a turn to make a difference with $50.

It’s also putting the mission of parish and school, which is to “Live Jesus,” into action along with this year’s theme to “Serve Others.” What has made this project special is that it is kid-driven.

“We do a lot of service projects here through the school and parish and sister parish in Honduras. We regularly do those things, but I think we’ve always dictated what they choose,” said Joyner. “The kids had to research it. They had to look for the need. And I think that made the big difference with this project. They took ownership of it.”

Joyner has noticed a new sense of awareness in students. After the challenge, half a dozen children approached her about different needs they saw in the community. In one instance, two sixth graders noticed a box at the bank in which toys were being collected for needy children. When they observed the lack of toys in the box, they told their principal about it and asked, “Can we do something to help?”

Recently, Fr. Greiten and a group from the parish left on mission to their sister parish in Honduras. In his luggage Fr. Greiten carried an envelope of $11 given away at his New Year’s Mass and returned to him doubled in amount as a gift for Honduras. That $22 will feed a family of four for a month, providing them with basic rice and vegetables.