To get closer to God, retreat

Centers offer options for spiritual renewal

By Karen Mahoney Special to your Catholic Herald

Visitors to the Redemptorist Retreat Center find many opportunities for spiritual reflection. The retreat center, just south of Oconomowoc, is operated by the Redemptorist religious order. (Catholic Herald photo by Sam Lucero) MILWAUKEE — The rooms are often bare. There might be a twin bed or two, sometimes a desk or a sink on the wall. Showers and restroom breaks usually require a trip down the hall. Most of the people in this place prefer silence to conversation or music. While the accoutrements do not rival those found at a five-star hotel, most who visit say the experience is wonderful. If a quiet, restful weekend sounds appealing, get thee to a retreat house. The desire to be alone is not an isolated feeling among overworked mothers or businesspeople. In search of solace and a sense of spiritual grounding, people across the country have been flocking to retreat centers in growing numbers over the past several years. According to Capuchin Fr. Keith Clark, director of Monte Alverno Retreat and Spirituality Center in Appleton, most people do not automatically include quiet time in their daily lives. “They do not realize that they have a longing for true quiet until they experience it,” he said. “When you think about it, there is seldom an open space in our lives. You think of your home as downtime, but in reality, you are meeting needs and requirements there as well. Time at a retreat and spirituality center gives one the ability to have true ‘open space.’ No one has a claim on your time. It is this peace that lets you be available to God.” Growing trend While organized group retreats have long been part of Catholic tradition, today’s retreats involve individuals going it alone, or in a specialized group or for teens and young adults. The retreats, which generally last a weekend, are considered a spiritual pause, an opportunity to sift through mind clutter and reclaim one’s soul by contemplating the big questions that never seem to be answered in the haze of everyday life: Where am I going? Where is God in all of this? On these solitary excursions, much of the time is spent in prayer and silence and at Monte Alverno, dedicating the bulk of their time to growing spiritually, rather than through a specific, directed program. “Many individuals are seeking an experience that will make themselves available to be touched and moved by God,” Fr. Clark said. “I often hear from first-time retreatants that they were concerned about the silence of a retreat experience. And yet, that was the part that had the most impact upon them. The silence gave them an opportunity to become grounded and to deepen and renew their relationship with God.” Many reasons for making retreat In general, people on private retreats at retreat centers spend the days however they want: walking the grounds, sitting outside, attending ongoing prayer services, eating meals in a cafeteria. They can choose total silence or sometimes join others on group retreats built around a theme, which can vary from building self-esteem to recovering from an addiction to keeping a spiritual journal. They can also ask for a “directed” personal retreat and meet several times with a spiritual adviser. Some choose to bring books or spiritual reading material; some bring music and headphones. Whatever the underlying reasons for making a retreat, Capuchin Fr. Marty Pable, one of the retreat leaders at St. Anthony Retreat Center in Marathon, realizes that with so many people preoccupied with worldly things, the spiritual life often falls by the wayside. “Oftentimes, individuals are too busy to explore their spirituality,” he said. “That is the real mission of today’s retreat center. We fulfill a need that is not being met anywhere in today’s society.” Because the material world is quickly enveloping younger generations, making retreats available to teens and young adults is important in cultivating a growing spiritual life, according to the priest. “Retreatants who attend regularly recognize the tremendous value of the retreat experience,” said Pable. “They have made it part of their spiritual nurturing. Those who are younger have not yet made this a part of their spiritual life. We are always looking to reach out to younger people. People are stressed out. They are fatigued. They are looking for peace.” Center focuses on youth retreats Specifically designed for middle and high school students, the TYME OUT Youth Center in Nashotah offers retreats in confirmation preparation, relationship retreats, character formation programs, as well as programs in social justice, team building and leadership. The center also offers transition retreats for eighth grade students preparing to move into high school. First-time retreatants generally attend through a parish or school group, according to Ben Brzeski, executive director of TYME OUT. Initial contact is through the youth leaders working with the youth in those settings. “When the retreatants first arrive at TYME OUT, however, we appeal to them simply by providing a welcoming environment, building community through games and icebreakers, creating smaller communities of six to eight kids within the large group, and beginning to create shared experience so the retreatants feel at home,” he said. TYME OUT’s approach is a contrast to the pace the majority of teens and young adults experience daily, according to Brzeski. “We are witnessing a frenetic youth culture in which kids are whizzing between school, sports practices, service clubs, jobs, youth groups, family time, homework, drama and band practices — and this is just one day,” he said. “When TYME OUT began in 1980, the idea back then, which is even more pertinent today, was to take a ‘time out’ from this busy game of life and check in with the coach, Christ. We prayerfully, through a lot of laughter and love, examine our lives together and listen for God’s will in our life.” Each retreat at the TYME OUT Center revolves around prayer and participation in the sacraments, scripture readings and processes to assist teens in appreciating their faith tradition in a more meaningful way. “Retreats also involved organized nonsense, as well as time to simply play,” Brzeski said. “Teens usually find that it is fun to be a part of a vibrant faith-filled community and want to stay longer by the time the retreat draws to a close.” TEC retreats based on John’s Gospel Although inactive in the Milwaukee Archdiocese, TEC (Together Encountering Christ) offers a life-changing, three-day retreat experience. Based on the Gospel of John 12:24 — “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds….” — the retreat surrounds the Gospel’s central message: the Paschal Mystery of dying, rising, and going forth as renewed people. Since its inception in Wisconsin in 1978, TEC provides a faith development program geared to young adults. According to coordinator Betsy Gonwa, the strong programs for youth and teens within the Milwaukee Archdiocese have moved much of the emphasis from TEC toward many youth opportunities such as mission work. “It is an absolutely wonderful program,” she said. “And while it is very popular in more rural areas such as Green Bay and Superior (dioceses), it has struggled in this area. There must be a greater need, but I am praying that the movement of the Spirit will move it back.” Although the retreat was intended for teens aged 16 and above, many parents, grandparents and other interested adults signed up to participate in the TEC experience. “I remember this one young man who was a seminary student. He came from a very big family and his parents were in their 60s,” said Gonwa. “Lots of his brothers and sisters and parents decided to come along on this. They all loved it; the parents got a bit tired and didn’t stay up late to participate in everything, but they found it was a wonderful renewal of their faith.” While not specifically geared toward youth, Sinsinawa Mound Center offers the Dominican tradition of hospitality to all ages for their retreats, which can last one day or several. While offering a variety of adult private and group retreat opportunities, confirmation and youth retreats are very popular. “We also try to hold at least one youth music concert or event per year,” said Sheila Heim, director of outreach. Most first-time retreatants discover Sinsinawa, located near Hazel Green, in the Madison Diocese, by word of mouth, said Heim. “Sometimes they also come to us as a result of coming here for another meeting or event,” she said. “When they experience being here, they seem hungry to want to come back to a specialized experience or retreat. Some come here as private retreatants, too, which means they pay a flat fee for the day and spend the time either in spiritual direction or in quiet of their choosing.” Monte Alverno reaches first time retreatants with a personal approach. “Most younger people come because a peer or parent invites them,” said Fr. Clark. “Typically, the first-time retreatant is full of enthusiasm at the close of the weekend. We ask them to go home and promote spiritual growth with their family and friends. We ask them to share their spiritual enrichment with those who are important to them. We ask them to say to friends, ‘I’ve experienced this and I have found this to be worthwhile.’ We ask our retreatants to share the beauty of what they have experienced.”