Milwaukee Catholic Herald – August 11, 2005

Sheboygan parish, community begin healing process after Fr. Jarumbo's death

Homilist asks that 'emotional heart disease'
be recognized, treated

CLOSE FRIENDS — Fr. James Jarumbo is pictured with his dog Bu in a photo at St. Dominic Church in Sheboygan. Fr. Jarumbo died July 30. (Photo courtesy of St. Dominic Parish)

Severe depression apparently led Fr. James Jarumbo, 65, to take his own life July 30, leaving family, friends and his 1,200 –member parish devastated.

On Aug. 4, as more than 1,000 people gathered at St. Dominic Church, Sheboygan for a visitation and Mass of Christian Burial, several parish leaders said the best way to remember their beloved pastor was to launch an awareness campaign about depression.

One of the first steps was an educational session on depression and suicide held Aug. 10 at the church. The program was open to adults and teens in the community.

“Fr. Jim was a man who just loved education. He loved learning,” said Jean Puls, coordinator of high school religious education and sacramental preparation at St. Dominic. “I can’t help but think that he’s up there in God’s kingdom and saying, ‘OK, Jean, I couldn’t talk about depression. I couldn’t talk about mental illness. I’m counting on you, you’re not afraid to talk. Please tell people that depression can be deadly.’”

According to the National Mental Health Association, depression is indeed deadly. It also affects more than 19 million Americans every year, regardless of age, race or gender.

Although men are about four times less likely to suffer from depression than women, the suicide rate for men suffering depression is four times that of women. In addition, men are less likely to admit depression and doctors are less likely to suspect it.

In the Catholic Church, suicide has the stigma of going against God’s plan. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church acknowledges that mental illness “can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.”

“We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The church prays for persons who have taken their own lives,” states the catechism.

Priesthood and depression

Although no statistics are available regarding the priesthood and depression, Fr. Bob Silva, president of the National Federation of Priests’ Councils, said it is a concern to his organization.

“It’s something we worry about, especially in light of what’s gone on the past three or four years,” said Fr. Silva, alluding to the priest sexual abuse scandal.

Priests, he said, “haven’t had interior strength to stand up” and seek treatment for depression.

“Depression is a common illness and sometimes priests are hesitant to get the kind of professional help they need,” added Fr. Silva. “People with depression have to know they can overcome it if they have the right treatment.”

Priests who suffer from depression are harder to identify because of their solitary lifestyle, the NFPC official explained. “We can’t watch each other as closely as families can. Priests are pretty good at hiding (their depression) and so a priest might be carrying depression around and his brothers might not know it.”

In the Milwaukee Archdiocese, a wellness council exists to help priests deal with health issues.

According to Fr. Curt Frederick, vicar for clergy and wellness council member, the council “is concerned with the total health of the priest — physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual.”

Each year a wellness event offers priests tips to maintain proper health. “We try to educate the priests in terms of their own health and we help provide opportunities to monitor that health,” said Fr. Frederick.

While the wellness council has not offered a specific program on depression recently, Fr. Frederick said he will likely consult with deans of the archdiocese “as to what kind of response we need to make.”

Priest was quiet man with big heart

According to parish staff members, Fr. Jarumbo was a quiet man with a big heart. He loved the church, he enjoyed proclaiming the Gospel, and especially liked passing on the faith to young people.

His soulmate was a black Doberman, Bu, given to him in 1994 by a member of his former parish, Holy Rosary in Milwaukee.

“She (the parishioner, who is deceased) gave him the dog because she felt he needed something to love,” said Sr. Ellen Barrett, a retired Sister of Charity of the Blessed Virgin Mary who served at Holy Rosary. “He loved that dog and it was first in his life.”

Bu’s health began to deteriorate late last year and the dog was diagnosed with cancer. Fr. Jarumbo had to put Bu to sleep last December, and the loss of his dog affected him deeply.

“Fr. Jim never revealed to us how long he had been battling with (depression),” said Joe Zenk, pastoral associate at St. Dominic. “I’ve only known him for about three and one-half years and I saw this year particularly as a harder year. It could be for a number of reasons: the loss of his dog, a building project we’ve got going on. It seemed to be more and more of an issue as the year went along.”

What is certain is that Fr. Jarumbo’s death was not connected to any allegations of sexual abuse of a minor.

“Absolutely not,” said Kathleen Hohl, director of communications for the archdiocese. “Fr. Jim suffered from serious depression. It may have been something he dealt with his whole life.”

On the weekend of Fr. Jarumbo’s death, Zenk spoke at the Masses. He said he told grief-stricken parishioners that while the parish’s future was uncertain, “there are things I’m certain of and one of those certainties is that Fr. Jim is in God’s kingdom and he’s praying for us right now.”

“I am also certain in the resurrection and we’re going through a time of death right now,” he told them. “But God is present in this and we just have to be open to that presence.”

Zenk said that many people are struggling with Fr. Jarumbo’s suicide, and the task of the parish staff now is to educate people.

“As a church, as a society, we have to learn that depression kills,” he said. “Fr. Jim was acting out of his depression and that is what killed him.”

Using death as teachable moment

Being honest and open about Fr. Jarumbo’s death and using it as a teachable moment is the best way to respond, Zenk added. “We can turn this into a resurrection, in a sense, and hopefully prevent things like this in the future.”

The parish staff’s respect and admiration for Fr. Jarumbo was evident at the funeral Mass. As guests waited in line at the church during visitation, tables were set up with pictures of Fr. Jarumbo and other mementos. A slide show of photographs — some showing him with school children, with parishioners and with Bu — also played on a screen in the vestibule.

Joining the parish family at the visitation and funeral Mass were Fr. Jarumbo’s mother, Alice, and brother, Roger. Along with parish trustee Jeanne Bitkers, the Jarumbos stood near the casket and greeted mourners.

More than 50 priests concelebrated the funeral Mass. Joining them were Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan and Archbishop emeritus Rembert G. Weakland.

Fr. Art Heinze, pastor of St. James Parish in Menomonee Falls and a friend of Fr. Jarumbo’s for the past 25 years, delivered the homily. He said he shared the grief and sadness experienced by his family and parish, but rather than dwell on his friend’s death, Fr. Heinze said he wanted to celebrate his life.

First, he acknowledged that “the cold, dark shadow of suicide is difficult,” but reminded the congregation that it should be recognized as a disease.

“We recognize heart disease, but we do not recognize emotional heart disease,” he said.

Remembering Fr. Jarumbo

Fr. Heinze recalled that Fr. Jarumbo “had the incredible habit of always having bad luck.”

When they first met at Saint Francis Seminary 25 years ago, Fr. Jarumbo had just broken his leg.

“He was standing in the wrong place at a golf course and a runaway golf cart hit his leg,” said Fr. Heinze to the laughing assembly. “How is that possible?”

As part of his rehabilitation, Fr. Jarumbo and Fr. Heinze would ride bicycles together. “We would go for three hours straight and he would say maybe four words to me,” the priest recalled.

Fr. Heinze called Fr. Jarumbo a quiet man who treated people with respect.

“He really, deeply loved his ministry,” he said. “He loved to eat. That was obvious. He was a joy to be with.”

In an interview, Judy Straus, music director at St. Dominic for 29 years, agreed that Fr. Jarumbo was a joyful person, although hard to get to know.

“You had to be persistent in getting to know him,” she said. “I always saw my point in life with Jim was to get him to laugh.”
She recalled that when Fr. Jarumbo turned 60, he made a point of ringing the church’s carillon bells 60 times.

“I went out and said, ‘Jim, what are you doing?’ He said, ‘This is the time I was born.’”

Peggy Henseler, principal of St. Dominic School for the past 17 years, said Fr. Jarumbo was always involved with the school children.

“School was very important to him,” she said in an interview. “Fr. Jim, at that one liturgy each week, touched their hearts in a very special way. And he was also able to bring humor.”

One year as school began, Henseler said she told Fr. Jarumbo about a special golf outing she had.
“I’m a terrible golfer, but I golfed on a par three course and hit a hole in one,” she said. “The next week at liturgy he called me up at the end of Mass and said, ‘Now tell the children about your good news. … What kind of golf club did you use?’ I told him a seven-iron and he had a server go to the back and get a seven-iron and then said, ‘Now demonstrate your swing for us.’ He gave me a trophy that is on my desk yet.”

Priest delighted in feast days

Henseler also remembered Fr. Jarumbo’s delight in celebrating feast days. “On the feast day of Mary’s birth, he called me on the intercom the day before and said, ‘Could you pick up some cupcakes for tomorrow?’ I said, well how many cupcakes do you need?”

To her disbelief, he wanted 160 — the same as the number of school children.

“Then he said he wanted white frosting and a blue ‘M’ on every cupcake,” she added. “After Mass he handed out the cupcakes and sat outside and celebrated Mary’s birthday and played Marian songs on the carillon bells.”

Fr. Jarumbo was proud of his Polish heritage, a fact Archbishop Dolan said he learned when they first met.

“He was very quiet, although he did become quite animated once when I asked him if Jarumbo is an Italian name,” he said at the conclusion of Mass.

Puls, who was hired by Fr. Jarumbo as coordinator of high school religious education in January 1996, one month after he arrived at the parish, said the pastor was passionate about passing on the Catholic faith to young people.

When she proposed LifeTeen Masses at the parish, which are youth-oriented liturgies held on Sunday evenings, Fr. Jarumbo was supportive.

“It took him out of his comfort zone every single Sunday night,” she said. “When something takes you out of your comfort zone and you commit to doing it week after week, that’s extraordinary and that’s the kind of man that he was. He believed in our young people and he believed in education.”

Although Fr. Jarumbo knew church teachings “forward and backward,” he was open to new ideas, said Puls. “He cared about quality. Whatever you did, you did it the right way. He loved to have the Gospel come to life through the arts and he supported our kids doing it in his quiet way.”

Fr. Jarumbo was laid to rest at Holy Cross Cemetery Aug. 5. A memorial has been established in his name by his family for St. Dominic Church. In his absence, Fr. Thomas Venne, a retired priest of the archdiocese, has been appointed temporary administrator.

“The archdiocese is going to do a methodical assessment, asking deans of the archdiocese, pastors and parishioners of the city what the needs are of the city and the parish,” said Zenk. “When that has been assessed, then we will move forward; whether that means a permanent pastor or parish director.”

“The staff really has a tremendous challenge ahead of them,” noted Puls. “Education is going to be a huge part of the healing process and the moving forward process. I can’t imagine (Fr. Jarumbo) would want it any other way.”