He’s a good friend, John, a brother-priest from my home archdiocese of St. Louis. I’ve known him for nearly 30 years, and we often go on summer vacations together. In fact, we just returned from two weeks away ... and I’m surprised we’re still talking to each other!

Do you know what he had the gall to say to me? “Tim, I worry you’re putting weight back on. You were doing so well this time last year, when you had lost about 35 pounds. You told me how much better you were feeling, how much more pep you had, how you weren’t perspiring as much. But now you’re bloating back up again.”

Well! I was furious. I was hurt. Who does he think he is? How personal. This is my private business. How dare he butt in. He should be affirming me and making me feel good about myself, not talking to me like this. No more vacations with him....

Then, after a big piece of blueberry pie, with some ice cream on top, I calmed down. Because, guess what! He’s right! He’s telling the truth! Which is why he is a good, wise, and loyal friend, which is why I need him.

Pope John Paul II once commented, “The best way we love someone is by telling that person the truth.” We need to hear that. Today, I’m afraid we are reluctant to speak the truth for fear it might sting, it might anger, it might hurt. Instead, we only want to soothe and say, “I’m OK, you’re OK.” We seem only to want to affirm, condone, console, approve.

The church, though, is a true friend, like my priest-buddy on vacation. His respect and affection for me moved him to tell me the truth even when it hurt. That’s what the church does:

n To a society that seeks security in weapons, bombs, and war, the church speaks the age-old truth that peace can only come with justice, that patience, dialogue, and reconciliation usually accomplish far more than sticks and stones.

n To a culture that believes it has the right to an orgasm whenever, wherever, however, with whomever we want, she tells us the truth that sex is so sacred, an actual reminder of God’s love for us, that it is intended only between a man and woman united in lifelong, life-giving, faithful marriage.

n To a world that denies that the life of the innocent baby in the womb trumps any other perceived value or right, the church tells the truth that life is sacred from conception to natural death.

n To those who would prefer to ignore the cries of the poor, suffering, hungry, persecuted, sick, or abandoned, sobs close to home or moans as far away as Africa, the church reminds us of the moral imperative of justice and compassion.

n To a society that prizes wealth, possessions, prestige, and power, the church is a genuine friend and dares to speak the truth that real treasure comes in giving, sharing, serving, and selflessness.

n To a culture that feels the truth can be bent, commitments can be compromised, one’s word can be waffled, one’s promise can be bargained, one’s values can be jettisoned, the church gently speaks of such matters as fidelity, integrity, honesty, and even martyrdom.

n To a world of persecution, genocide, terror, bigotry, violence, and oppression, the church, ever a true friend, preaches that every human being is made in God’s image and likeness, therefore inherently worthy of dignity and respect, and whose rights cannot be “used” or trampled upon for our own gain.

Many are stung, angry, upset, hurt over the truth the church proposes. So they search out other “friends” who will tell them what they want to hear.

I was even tempted to plan my vacation next year with someone besides John, someone who would not bring up my weight, someone who would ignore my bad habits.

Instead, I’m back on a diet, and we have our two weeks reserved for next summer.

Love and truth must go together. Ask John. Ask the church. Ask Jesus: “I am the way, the truth, and the life ...; the truth shall set you free.”