'Fasten your seat belts,
Milwaukee,' says longtime friend

	A Man of History A Shepherd of Hope A Catholic Herald special supplement Supplement home Aug. 22 issue home

ST. LOUIS -- When describing Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan, those closest to him are quick to mention his sense of humor and genuine love of the priesthood. Two people who have known him since they were teen-agers, recently told the Catholic Herald about their friend of more than 30 years.

"He always has a sense of humor, always appropriate, never at the wrong time. And when you're at a terrible point, he always knows just what to say," said Ann Merten, a close friend of Dolan's since their high school days. "Humor is definitely the hallmark of our relationship," she said.

Merten met Dolan through a couple of his seminary classmates who had belonged to her parish. "They were all going to a play at St. Louis University one night and they invited me along. We got a flat tire on a major highway and Tim said, 'Ann, go stand out in front of the headlights and hold your coat open to reflect the light back so we can see what we're doing.' That was actually the first time we met," she said with a laugh.

Since that first encounter, Dolan has baptized Merten's daughter, was her son's confirmation sponsor, buried her grandma and had her brother's wedding. "He's always been there," she said.

LONGTIME FRIENDS -- Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan and Msgr. Dennis M. Delaney, vicar for pastoral planning for the St. Louis Archdiocese, discuss business at the chancery office in St. Louis. Dolan and Delaney have been friends since they shared a locker as freshman at St. Louis Preparatory Seminary in 1964. (Photo by Scott McConnaha)

Merry Christmas times 2,200

When Dolan became an auxiliary bishop in the St. Louis Archdiocese, Merten volunteered to be his office assistant. She helped organize his ordination as bishop, keeps track of his taxes, takes his laundry to the cleaners and helps address envelopes for "his infamous Christmas cards. He really likes them hand addressed, and last year there were 2,200 names. Now it's down to 1,700 because there were so many duplicates. I took over so many of those types of things. Because of his real work, his secretary just doesn't have time to do those things," she explained.

With all the help she offers him and the amount of time he spends with her family, Merten said her husband jokes that Dolan is like another one of their kids.

She marvels at how good Dolan is at keeping in touch with so many people, by writing to them at least a couple times a year, "and when he hears something is going on with someone, he calls.... I don't think people have any understanding of the demands on his time. Everybody feels like they're his best friend," she said, adding that "his friendship is sincere."

Merten said she sought out Dolan for comfort and assurance when her mother was suffering a lengthy illness. "He wasn't even in this country, but I called him, after talking to so many other people, and he knew exactly what to say. He just has this gift of knowing when to make you laugh and when to be serious."

Perks include more than donuts

Working for him has included many perks, and donuts aren't even the half of it, she said. "You meet wonderful people when you're with Tim. I've gotten to go to private audiences with the pope. I've met cardinals, different bishops, and yet you meet the guy who is the busboy at the restaurant, because he knows him too....

"Everybody and their brother wants him to baptize their child, have their wedding, do the funeral of someone he hasn't seen in 15 years, and he does it, because I think what he misses the most, because of his office, is being with people. I truly believe he'd love to be a parish priest in a small rural community and just work with people."

Msgr. Dennis M. Delaney, vicar for pastoral planning for the St. Louis Archdiocese, and friend of Dolan's since ninth grade, seconded that sentiment. "(Dolan) has no ambition other than that he has always wanted to be a parish priest. That he has been where he has been and done what he has done is by God's grace. He's a man without ambition, and because of that he doesn't have to put on airs, he doesn't have to influence anybody, and so what you see is what you get, and what you see is the same Tim Dolan I've known since we first met in high school."

Natural talent for leadership

Delaney said he's not surprised at Dolan's quick rise through the ranks. "I've known him since we were thrown together to share a locker because there were too many freshmen and not enough lockers (at their high school seminary in St. Louis). From day one he distinguished himself as having the natural talents for leadership that have served him well throughout his seminary days and his priesthood, and now his one year of service as a bishop, which I've seen him do extraordinarily well here at a critical time in the life of the archdiocese and the life of the church in the United States."

Dolan's sense of humor comes from his warm, gracious, outgoing parents, Delaney said of the couple who always loved to have a house full of guests. "They often invited all of us seminarians to gather at their home for barbecues. From early on I have experienced him to be a warm, outgoing person, wonderful sense of humor, great love for learning.... He's something of a universal man. He blends the common touch with the talents of an intellectual, always with an emphasis on the pastoral dimension of his priesthood," he said.

Broken curfew never forgotten

Recalling an incident from their seminary days at Cardinal Glennon College in St. Louis, Delaney said his friend had been known to break a rule or two. Dolan and some of their classmates returned to campus late one night, and the dean of students thought it was such a serious infraction of the curfew that he "campussed" all those who were involved. That punishment happened to be at the time when Dolan's younger sister, Lisa, was to make her first Communion. "There were many pleas from Tim's mother and his grandmother that he be given an exemption to attend the first Communion, but he was not permitted. So later that Sunday afternoon, the whole family came out to the seminary and he was permitted to see his sister in her first Communion dress. His mother has never forgotten that."

Several days before it was officially announced that Dolan was to be archbishop of Milwaukee, Delaney said he got a call from St. Louis' Archbishop Justin F. Rigali, asking him to join him and Bishop Dolan for lunch that day. They sat down at the table in the archbishop's residence and talked about various things for a few minutes, he said. "All of a sudden, the archbishop just said to me, 'I want you to know that you're sitting across the table from the new archbishop of Milwaukee.'"

After a moment, Rigali told Delaney that he didn't appear to be surprised. "I said, 'I'm not.'"

In the weeks since that announcement, Dolan and Delaney have continued to enjoy one another's company at a few of their favorite Italian restaurants, where conversation has lately revolved around Dolan's imminent move to Milwaukee. "He has said to me, 'Did you ever think this would happen?' And he says it with a genuine sense of wonderment and amazement. My standard reply to that is, 'Yes,'" Delaney said.

"I think Milwaukee better fasten its seat belt. It's in for a simple man, a wise man, a gentle man and a holy man, who wants to be a good pastor. And I think he will be a good pastor," he said.